In my opinion, protecting the environment is more important. (무엇보다 더 중요한지?)
서론이 너무 부실합니다. 1. 주어진 주제가 무엇인지 2. 글쓴이의 입장은 무엇인지 3. 그 이유는 간략하게 어떤 것인지 이렇게 세 문장만 써도 충분할 수 있습니다.
First, nowadays, people can find emotional relief from the environment nature because it is effective for boosting people’s mood. Today, many people get weary with too much stress. By being in the environment nature such as going to the park, going to the beach, however, people can temporarily forget about their stress and gain some breathing space. In this respect, protecting the natural environment would be more essential than providing food.
Second, providing food would only be available possible in a clean environment. If the environment is contaminated due to air or water pollution, the food that people produce would not be beneficial healthy at all. Therefore, in the long-term, the government should be more concerned with the environment than the agricultural methods to provide food to the people.
In conclusion, protecting the environment would be more important (무엇보다 더 중요한지?) as it allows people to find emotional relief and food is only available in a clean environemnt environment.
Writing 0-30 scale
Fair (20-22)
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