▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that a teacher’s wage should not be based on his students’ performance. However, in my opinion, a teacher’s earnings should depending on students’ performance in school. This is because teachers can be motivated, and grades are very important factors for students. --> 주제의 단어를 paraphrase 하여 사용해주세요. To begin with, wages can make teachers to be motivated. Generally, money is strong external motivation. Therefore, if teachers receive wages depending on students’ grades, they can be more committed to work, and this can help students’ performances. I can take an example of my experience. When I was in a math teacher of a private academy, I could receive money depending on students’ scores. One day, my students' math scores decreased, and my salary was reduced. Since my wage decreased, I was frustrated and decided to make up my salary. Therefore, I made diverse papers to help students increase their scores and started to manage their study time. As a result, their grades increased a lot, and I was able to make a bunch of profits. On top of that, performances in schools are very important elements for students. Therefore, teachers who help students increase their grades should be qualified to get more money. For instance, there was a poll conducted by the Korea education center with students as respondents. The survey’s main purpose was to determine what was the best teachers for students. An overwhelming 78% students responded that teachers who help them improve their grades are the best. They said that the grades were very important values for them. They also said that the teachers who make students develop their performances deserved to get a lot of money. To sum up, I believe that teacher’s wages shall be decided based on students’ performances. This is due to the fact that since teachers can be motivated and grades are very important factors for students. I believe that ~ (주제에 대한 미래 방향 등 본인의 내용 요약 이후에 전체 글을 마무리해주는 문장으로 글을 끝내주세요.)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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