Some people might argue that news media is a reliable source of unbiased information. However, in my opinion, news media are not a trustworthy source because different people have different interests, and there are so many of news media these days.
--> 주제를 글에 녹일 때 직접 인용하지 마시고 paraphrase해 주세요.
To begin with, it is obvious that people are after their personal gains. It is not easy to come across people who are truly altruistic. Especially the CEOs of news media are not one of those. Apparently, running such companies is costly. As a result, it does not seem realistic to expect altruistic actions from news media. For example, during the election campaigns, we all can see different views on a certain candidates from each different news media companies. Some may air positive views on a certain candidate’s promise, but some may contempt the promise. In fact, it is not too much to say that the success of a news media company’s business after the election depends on which candidate they supported. Thus, we should not expect rightful views from a news media.
On top of that, in these days, there are countless number of news media companies. Therefore, the proportion of wrongful information being exposed by false news is still very high even though there are few media companies that produces the report we can trust. For example, everyday, we see many celebrities who lose their fame and personal lives by false news. If they are lucky, another news, which is expected to be true this time, might try to save them from the pit. However, in most cases, they cannot recover fully enough to get back to where they once belong. -->
뉴스 회사의 수가 많은 것이 문제가 아니라 "모든 뉴스 회사가 검증된 보도를 하지 않는 사실이 문제"라는 점을 지적하여 이 부분에 포커스를 맞춰 생각을 확장하여야 합니다.
To sum up, news media is biased and seek for profit more than truth. Also, there are numerous information flooding to our eyes that are not proven. In this regard, my opinion is that we should not fully trust trust any news media.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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