▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that today’s
children are more dependent on their parents than those in the past. However,
contrary to this idea, I firmly believe that kids in the present are less
reliant on both of their fathers and mothers than before. The compelling logic
behind this is that the youngsters usually spend much time alone in daily life,
and advanced technologies enable them to deal with their own challenges.
First of all, children living today tend to
spend most of their time by themselves in everyday life. To explain, in modern
days, most parents have their own jobs to sustain a family, keeping themselves
away from their children during working hours. It is impossible for the parents
to take care of the children all day long. Thus, the kids are likely to spend a
lot of time in school or home, giving them a strong sense of independence. As
an example, a study by the Korean Educational Institute announced that in these days, about ninety percent of adults who have more than one child are at work, and the majority of them are couples working together for a living. While they are
working, their children are left alone at home for long hours without parental supervision.
These children showed a distinct inclination to make their own various decisions, such as
doing homework, helping housework, and looking after a younger sibling, when
compared to others who were managed by their parents a decade ago. In this
regard, nowadays, children are more independent on their parents than before.
(GOOD)
Additionally, today’s children are able to
solve problems of their own accord by using high-tech gadgets. To be more
specific, almost all children at the present day are accustomed to handle
cutting-edge electronic devices, ranging from smart phones to handy tablet
computers. Hence, they can study necessary subjects through online education by
themselves, which facilitates them to live a self-directed life. For instance,
my younger brother, Dooley, is ten years old and an elementary school student. When Dooley returns to home after class, nobody can help him to do homework because my
parents get off from work their companies late at night, and I have to do my
part-time job at the time. Meanwhile, my father bought him an iPad, which is a
kind of a handheld computer, for a birthday gift. As soon as taking the
present, Dooley used it quite freely without any difficulties. One day, he was connected to a web site for homeschooling and found diverse subjects, like basic
mathematics and fundamental science that are suitable for primary school students. As a
result, by using these information technologies, my brother can finish his
assignments without any help from my parents and me.
To sum up, the rationale behind this is that children in the modern era tend to not only spend a large amount of time alone other than their parents, but also rapidly ever-developing technology allows the kids to be more independent of the grown-ups. Although many argue that
children in the past are more independent of their parents than those now, I am
strongly certain that those living nowadays are more independent of them.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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