▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that getting a different job from their parents is better for young people rather than to have a same career. They may think that young people are more satisfied with it. However, in my opinion, young people should select a job in the same area with their parents because they can gain information about their work easily and they are less likely to fail. To begin with, people can get a lot of information about their career. When people start to work at new fields, they need knowledge about this new work. If young people have a same job with their parents, they can get knowledge and practical information about the job from their parents. Thus, it helps them adapt to their work without difficulty. For instance, when I was in a high school, I wanted to be a youth counselor like my mother. My mother said that it was essential for the youth counselors to understand the youth and their development well, and the counselor should have an ability to have a close relationship with teenagers regardless of who the person is. Thus, I started to learn about the youth development and did volunteer works at a youth culture center to improve my sociability. Finally, it helped me adapt to my field easily when I became a youth counselor. On top of that, It reduces the possibility of failure. Parents can tell their children about their previous failure from work experiences. Young people can learn about factors that can bring them fail and try not to use them. Thus, it can help young people prevent themselves from fail. I can take an example of my friend. My friend’s parents cultivated various vegetables at their farm, and my friend wanted to take over the farm. When my friend started to work at there, his father said that he had a poor crop once because of the agricultural chemicals he used for that year. His parents told him about how to distinguish agricultural chemicals that work well. Therefore, he could select right pesticides carefully, and it helped him to succeed in his farming, while other new farmers suffer from failure. (실패 방지 이기 때문에 실패를 방지한 부분에도 초점을 맞춰 설명을 추가해주세요) To sum up, people can get useful information from their parent and they can be less liable to fail. Therefore, I believe that young people should have a job in the same field as their parents than to select a different career for themselves.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 논리적으로 잘 정리된 글 입니다. 수고하셨습니다. |