▶ Your Answer :
The topic over the issue of appearance is
always intriguing. Although people are caring so much about their appearance,
some people still argue that appearance has nothing to do with one’s
personality. However, I contend that appearance is a representative manner to
express one’s personality or characteristic for the following reasons.
First of all, people tend to put efforts in
making themselves seemingly attractive since they are aware of the power of first
impressions. To be specific, people usually have a prejudice towards someone with
the feeling that people have when they first face him or her. For example, my
sister, who is a teacher at an the elementary school, put the most care on the
first day with her class at the beginning of a year. She mentioned that she has
observed how children follow her through the year is largely impacted by how
she is looked on the first day with them. This is also proven by a survey
conducted by Seoul National University of Korea. In the survey, most surveyed
people responded that their behavior to others are largely affected by the
first impression of them. The respondents additionally answered that these
feelings are formed within three 3 seconds when they see others and therefore, they
are formed without considering their actual mindset or personality. This well
demonstrate how one’s appearance affects other people to have impressions of him
not only about his or her fashion style but also about personality or
characteristic. <(first impression은 appearance도 포한이 되지만 attitude/accent/voice 도 포한이 될수 있기 때문에 너무 first impression에 focus를 해주시는 것 보다는 appearance에 focus를 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. )
Also, by looking at how a person dresses,
people can estimate his or her schedule, job, or life style. To be specific, when
a person wears sports looks everyday, we can estimate him as a sport athlete or
at least we can guess him with a hobby of a sport. Then we automatically begin
to imagine him as an active person. Whereas if a person is always wearing only formal
suits everyday, we will guess him as an office worker who hardly does any body
work. Through these speculations, we are making certain images of the
surrounding people who we frequently meet. My personal experience can clearly
show this point. Last year, my neighbor newly moved to the next door. At that
time, I enjoyed scuba diving and my skin was getting darker and darker.
Additionally, my neighbor often witnessed me wearing beach wears. After they
knew that my job is an engineer, my neighbor greets me every morning by saying,
“Hey, active marine girl, you must be missing the ocean in front of your
computer.” I have never talked to them about my hobby or my personality.
However, just by glancing my appearance, they defined me as an “active marine
girl.” Like this, appearance makes people to define others’ personality or
characteristic in their minds.
To sum up, I believe my explanations above
well shows how appearance affect when people start to estimate others’
personality or character. <This가 (my explanations above~) 보다는 specifically위에 서술해주신 이유들을 가르키면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 즉, 글쓴이가 서술해주신 것이 주장을 잘 설명해준다 라고 해주시기 보다는 이유A와 이유B 때문에 appearance로 성격을 알 수 있다 라고 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.> This explains why appearance cannot be
overemphasized.
Score: 21~23 Comment: 잘 서술해주셨습니다. Silly mistakes/collocation/에 주의를 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한 숫자 1~10은 글로 써주셔야합니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정이나 코멘트를 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다!
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