Many people believe that cars have greater impact on society than airplanes. However, in my opinion, airplanes have made greater impact on society than cars. This is because airplanes works as are the fastest transportation in the world, and airplanes are the most greatest inventions in the world.
To begin with, airplanes have more impact on society than cars, because airplanes are the most fastest transportation in the world. We are able to move from a one continent to another continent in a day due to the by airplanes. For example, (예시가 아닙니다) It takes really a very long time to move from a continent to another by driving a car, but airplanes make it possible for us to move very quickly. We are able to go anywhere (띄어쓰기 없음) in the world in a day. Therefore, airplanes have more impact on society than cars, because of the airplane's ability to move very rapidly.
(이 문단은 전반적으로 특별한 설명 없이 ‘비행기는 자동차보다 빠르다’만 반복합니다. 자동차보다 빨라서 세계 곳곳을 빠르게 이동할 수 있는 것은 사람들에게 어떤 'impact'가 있는지? 그것이 글쓴이가 설명해야할 이 글의 주제입니다.)
On the top of that, airplanes have more impact on society than cars, because it is one of the greatest inventions in the history. We can fly the sky and it is impossible with out the invention of the airplanes. For instance, (예시가 아닙니다) Many people didn't did not think of flying sky before airplanes are invented and many people are were shocked when airplanes are came out. The creation of airplanes are one of the greatest inventions in the history and it gave really large impact on society. Thus, airplanes have bigger impact on society than cars, because airplanes are one of the greatest inventions in the history.
(여기서도 위 문단과 크게 다를 바가 없습니다. 하늘을 나는 것이 사람들의 삶에 어떤 'impact'가 있는지? 하늘을 나는 비행기의 발명과 빠르게 달리는 자동차의 발명 중에 왜 비행기가 더 사람들의 삶에 impact를 주는지? 설명을 해주세요.)
To sum up, airplanes are one of the festest fastest transportation in the world which let us move very quickly, and they are one of the greatest inventions in the history which made people be shocked. In this regard, airplanes have greater impact on society than cars.
Writing 0-30 scale
Fair (17-19)
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