Many controversial issues
have been redeemed to benefit society and individuals for the better needs.
Regarding this matter of whether it is essential for people to read only books
that are about real people and real events has
been pending issues among the past and present generations. Several opinions arose to this idea, but I
personally prefer leaning towards not supporting this argument with two
perspectives.
To begin with, reading books that not
about real people and real events could gain
allow the gaining of a sense of creativity. Many
consider that people can get this through reading books that about real events and characters.
However, it is undeniable that a variety of characters and
story ranges will be provided to people by using
not real (not real 보다 non-existent를 사용하는 게 어떨까요?) characters and story’s background. For example, when I was in
high school, I joined the a club that
discussed about fairy tales. (여기서 한 번 끊어주세요) There
has always been a different features and inventive plots from the books which were
about something such like as
witches and dragons. Thorough talking about the
fantastic presences (presence
: 존재이지만,
여기서는 creatures or beings가 더 자연스러워요.) or events with club members, I was able to experience
ingenious imaginary which I never had before. Also, I could learn how each
person has their own creativity and unique perspectives desperately. (불필요합니다.) Additionally, the
dramatic development of society requires each person who acquires professions
in their field to develop as well as
creativity. Unlike those who only read the books that about real things, people who read the books that about not
real events, real persons
generally contribute to better outcomes within their community. Thus, they are
more likely to be accepted by their group.
Secondly, it is beneficial for people to read books that are about not real
(non-existent or imaginary가 더 좋아요.) people, real events because individuals can broaden their perspectives. We cannot deny the fact that reading the
books that about imaginary characters will give us valuable lessons such as courage. Take
Warren Buffet, for instance. He is a globally recognized companies’ CEO and an
investor. Listed among TIME’S 100 Influential People, he mentioned in an
interview that reading the several books that can give courage through
something like legendary survival story against a
snake which have had four heads shaped him into a successful
business man. Whenever he had to make an
important decision, he thought about the story
and could do became determined with
courage. Such comment sounds highly convincing since he is a well-known man of success. Thus, I believe reading
books that are not about real event, real people
is useful for people.
To sum up, I believe that I have
accurately demonstrated my point of view on this matter with two concrete
reasons and evidences stated above. Since views of life differ among
individuals, it seems like this subject will always remain controversial.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment:
Argument도 좋고 포인트도 잘 잡아주셨어요. 다만 문법 실수 (수의 일치, 복수
등등)가 너무 많아서 흐름이 조금 흐려진 경향을 보입니다.