▶ Your Answer : Opinions might be divided over whether using internet is advantageous. People from different walks of life may take different stances on this contentious issue. Personally, I believe that people have taken various benefit through internet services, and there are two reasons that could validate my opinion.
To begin with, internet make us to easily access useful and enormous information. Today's world is becoming more complicated than before. Therefore, people are required to consider a variety of aspects before making a decision or writing a report. We can find a proper solutions by using internet. My own experience demonstrates this concept. Writing an essay about people's social behavior in my economic class, I was confused about the topic. I, however, could find a lot of references through the websites such as Elsevier, and My friends send me their opinions through the social network services such as Facebook and Twitter. As a result, thanks to the internet services, I successfully performed my task.
On top of that, people could find solutions to deal with problems created by internet. Even though massive information make some problems, we cannot only prevent the issues but also treat it by proper measures. For example, in Korea, there were social issues about aggressive reply on the website because a famous actress suicided herself due to severely critical replies. Then, Korean society made a campaign to develop internet etiquette, and Korean assembly made a law to prevent such tragic result. --> 일관되게 "좋은 점"에 주목하여 작성하는 것이 좋으며 상기 작성된 이유는 본인의 입장을 직접적으로 뒷받침한다고 보기 어려운 내용입니다. Paragraph 2 (Body 1)과 같이 구체적인 예시로 뒷받침된 이유 + 세부설명을 들어 전체 주제에 대한 본인의 입장을 뒷받침해주세요.
To sum up, people could take benefits and overcome the problems created by internet. In this regard, I recommend people to properly exploit the internet. (전체 작성 내용 요약 + 주제와 관련한 제언 등 결론 보충이 필요합니다.)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- Body 2 가 보충되면 충분히 좋은 점수를 받을 수 있는 글이니 본인의 주장과 직접적으로 관련된(internet provides people with a lot of valuable information) 이유 (예 - 인터넷에는 끊임 없이 새로운 정보가 올라오며 이를 통해 다양한 정보를 얻을 수 있다 등) 를 적어주세요. |