▶ Your Answer :
Opinions maybe divided over whether people
will not have to spend their time cooking and preparing food in the future.
People of various ages and different walks of life may take diverse positions
on this controversial issue. We cannot deny the fact that technology plays an
important role in our lives. Personally, therefore, I agree that technology and
instant food help people not to spend as much time to cook and prepare food in
the future. (GOOD)
To begin with, the development of
technology has reduced time to cook. Some people argue that the improvement of
technology related to cooking will not happen anymore. They cite a few findings
as the reasons for their assertions. Although their assertions appear to be
valid, they are mostly groundless and fall short of perfection. Moreover, the
following personal observations can reveal that people will save their time by
using cooking devices. (Counter argument 에 대한 설명 대신 본인의 이유에 대한 추가 설명을 해 주세요) For example, my mom Julia used to say that her mother had cooked cookies when she was a child. However, making cookies needed two
hours or more because there were only few devices for making cookies, and these devices were too expensive. However, my mom could cook delicious cookies
only 30 minutes now because she has an oven and other devices, helping my mom cook quickly. and various devices for cooking. This clearly proves that the development of
technology helps people reduce time to cook and prepare food.
Second, full-made food, instant food will
contribute to reduce cooking time. The case of my friend Jay proves my
argument. Since last year, Jay has lived in Seoul alone because his workplace
was far from her parent's house. At first, I was so worried about him because
he did not know how to cook. When I asked him about his diet, he answered that
he ate various kinds of food which he wanted to eat. I asked again what had
happened, he said that he enjoyed eating full-made food, such as a meat pie and
a salad, and it took a just ten minutes to cook those. Therefore, he not only would not spend saved his time
cooking and preparing food but also kept his health. This situation clearly shows
that my argument is reliable.
As mentioned above, based on the examples
of my mom and my friend Jay(Example이 아닌 전체 내용에 대한 요약 (이유 나열 등) 을 작성하여주세요), I can conclude that it will be much faster to cook
in the future.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
- 본인과 반대되는 입장이 틀리다는 문장을 나열하기 보단 본인의 주장을 뒷받침하는 이유에 대해 서술하는 것이 주장 강화에 더 좋습니다. |