▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who believe that
it would be better for people to try out several different occupations before
committing to a long-term job. However, I disagree with the above idea for the
two subsequent reasons. First, because changing the occupation could be really
stressful. Also, second, it may harm the relationship with others.
First of all, it would be really stressful
for individual to alter the occupation frequently. To be specific, people these
days are under a lot of stress and pressure due to the competitiveness in
today’s society. However, changing the job often could give continual stress
and anxiety to themselves,
because the individual has to consume their energy in adapting new work
environment each time, and it would likely to be difficult to become
professionals in only one field. Let me bring up my personal story as an
example. (Let으로 시작하는 구어체의 사용을 지양해주세요) For instance, I once was hired in a broadcast company as an announcer. At first, I was
fine because I think the job matched with my aptitude. However, as time went by, I
wanted to work independently as freelancer. So, I quit the job and declared myself as a freelancer
in the broadcasting company. To begin
with, I was fascinated by diverse new environment, which required me higher
ability of adaptation. More and more, I could not concentrate on my one field,
which was very confusing at me. The profession also could not guarantee
continual salary. If I had continued my past job for a long time, I would not
had stressed out and become a very skilled announcer.
Second. People can harm their relationship
with others. this is because It is very difficult to raise the intimate intimidate
relationship with others continuously by alternating the occupations. Thus, people might not receive help from the coworkers easily and have to work every situations in solitude. According to the recent survey done by JYP
institute in Korea, eighty percent of the respondents said that they could get deep
relationship with coworkers by working in the one company for twenty years. They
helped and cheered each other when they prepared on special project in the
company. So, the project was successfully finished by gathering their talent
together. This clearly shows that concentrating only on one field could raise
the good relationship with others and depend on each other when they are in a difficult situation. In conclusion, changing the occupation frequently could be not only stressful but also influence people to face negative impact relationship with others. In this regard, people should better to focus on one profession withe the above two reasons.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 논리는 양호하나 기초적인 문법/단어 실수가 많습니다.
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