In the given set of passages, there is some discrepancy between the views
of the author and the lecturer over the issue of why the size of human brain
decreased. The lecturer affirms that the size of the
human brain has nothing to do with the changes in human society, human body
size and visual cortex, whereas the author in the reading passage suggests
otherwise. By giving three cogent explanations, the lecturer raises the
objections to the plausible hypotheses of the reading passage about why human
brain has decreased in size.
First of all, the lecturer debunks the author’s first conjecture that as
human societies change from the small groups, which are self-sufficient, to the
densified groups, in which members are not required a wide range of duties, the
large human brain was not been necessary. To elaborate in detail, the lecturer
claims that as the characteristics of human society changed, new types of
intelligent works have been newly required for humans.
Additionally, he describes that those new tasks include highly complex works
dealing with relationships between people, demanding increase in mental
capacities. This shows a direct opposition to the reading passage.
Also, the lecturer indicates dissent over the writer’s idea on the body
size. The speaker sounds convinced that the author is making manifest mistake
because the shrinking rate of body size does not match that of brain size. To
be specific, the size of human body has decreased in 8% in a certain period,
while the size of the brain has decreased in 16%. As the lecturer asserts, if
the body and brain size are closely related, the rates should have been
similar. However, the author in the reading passage contends that the discovery
of bigger human brain 20,000 years ago demonstrates well the fact that human
brains became smaller because their controls on bodies do not need large sized
ones due to the body size shrinkage.
Finally, the lecturer goes on to expound that the author’s final point
about visual cortex, which processes information in the brain, is also flawed.
The lecturer argues, to corroborate this point, that the visual cortex takes
only a small portion of the human brain and
therefore, the size of the visual cortex hardly affects the overall brain size.
Additionally, he mentions that the brain
contains not only the cortex but also other
elements that are decreasing in size, and thus all the components should be
considered. However, the author asserts that as people hardly participate in
hunting-gathering, high level of visual acuity is not required anymore, and
this explains why human brain has shrunken along with the decreasing visual
cortex.
With these three
convincing explanations that the lecturer posits, the author’s three
explanations about the reason for the decrease in human brain size are all
rendered invalid.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Good (24-30)
Overall Comment:
매우 좋습니다! 어려운 용어들과 거의 완벽한 흐름이 돋보입니다. 하지만 말씀하신 것처럼 글이 너무 깁니다. 통합형은 225자 이하가 이상적이지만, 작성자님의 글은 400자가 넘습니다. 하지만 글은 매우 잘 쓰시니 조금만 더 간략하게
쓰시는 연습만 하시면 좋을 것 같습니다.