It is controversial
whether apprehending the past is essential in order to handle impediments
confronting us now and in the future. In this regard, I strongly believe that
understanding the past plays significant roles in dealing with the
obstructions, which are in front of us and in the future. This is because
handling the obstructions can correlate with the traumas which were made in the
past, and humans cannot change their temperament
at the moment.
To begin with, damage wrought
in the past can be obstacles which are being confronted now
and could be in the future. In other words, the
problem can be made in the past, and it can be still left as a trauma. It means
that retrospecting the past might offer the
solution of hindrances. For example, my cousin sister (cousin’s
sister말씀이신가요?
그러면 그냥 cousin이 맞을 것 같아요) has had a hard
time making friend in school, and the cause on of
the problem has been made in the past. To be specific, when she was an
elementary student, she was bothered by friends. After undergoing the
experience, she was afraid of making friends
with anyone. However, she tried to settle the problem by understanding the
past. She attempted to think about how the situation happened and if she also
had problem with the experience, and thus she could realize that due to her
egocentric personality, she became alone in the class. Realizing the cause of the trauma made in the past provided her with the solution
to throw away the obstruction. She tried to consider others’ feelings, and she
made an effort not to think only about herself.
Finally, she became much better and a more complete
individual, so she has made many friends with a lot of people. Accordingly,
observing the past may be a chance to find a
solution in the impediments formed now and in the future.
Moreover, it is hard for people
to change their character at the moment. What I mean is that habits shaped in
the past are still consistent, and the habits generate hindrances now and in
the future. For instance, nowadays my problem was to delay the to-do list from
today to tomorrow, and my habit was not made at the moment. When I was an
elementary student, I did not do my homework
perfectly since I always put off homework from today to tomorrow. And then the
habit was repeated as recycles, (이 표현이 어색해요. repeated over and over again 으로 바꾸시면 더 자연스러우실 듯 합니다.) and this habit constantly enticed
me to postpone all works when trying to complete tasks. Now, this habit has become the biggest obstruction of my life. In this
case, in order to get rid of the obstruction, I had to find the cause leading
to the bad habit, and to do that, understanding the past was needed. I thought
of the past, and I could eventually find the cause of the
bad habit; It was computer games. After looking on the past, I did my best to stop
playing computer games, and it naturally enabled me
to finish tasks on time. Thus, understanding the past can maximize the chance
to cast off bad habits.
To sum up, I strongly argue that seeing
and thinking about the past encourage us to find
solutions about obstructions of our days and in the future for two reasons I
mentioned previously: for that now problems are
correlate with the trauma from in the past and for that bad habits of the past generate now present obstacles.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Good (24-30)
Overall Comment:
매우 좋습니다! 포인트도 잘 잡아주셨고, 예시도 적절합니다. 어려운 표현들도 적절히 넣어주셔서 글의 흐름이
매우 매끄럽습니다. 작은 문법 실수들만 고쳐주시면 좋을 것 같습니다!