▶ Your Answer :
There
might be some people who believe using their knowledge and
experience is better than asking other people for advice when they have to
solve the problems. However I personally disagree with the above
idea for two subsequent reasons. There are objectivity and variety
which are important factors to solve the problems.
First
of all, advice that other people give can guarantee us objectivity. What this means
is that when we try to solve the problems, one of the
important factors is objectivity. This is because if you
look at the problem subjectively, you can easily misunderstand the essence of the problems. And it
is never helpful to solve the problems (같은 표현을 너무 반복적으로 사용하시는 경향이 있으세요.). Therefore people easily
misunderstand their problem when they use their knowledge and experience to
solve the problems. People tend to interpret their situation to be positive compared to the real reality. According to
the recent study done by SNU, most of respondents tend to believe
that they have the capacity to solve the
problem, but in reality they don't have the ability
to solve the problem. Then this clearly
shows that if people try to solve the problem by their
ability, they cannot end the wrong situations solve these situations properly.
Secondly,
there are many and various solutions to solve the problems when
you ask other people for advice. To be specific, it
is hard for people to make various soultions solutions
by oneself. However, if you recieve receive
advices from other people, you can easily know various soloutions
related to the problems and it is really helpful to solve the problems. Let me bring up my personal story as an
example. When I was in high school, I was anxious about my low academic
performance. Especially, I was really bad at math. However I needed the a high grade on math to enter the university I wanted
to go. So I decieded decided to study
hard on the subject, but I faced a difficult
situation. I thought I studied very hard, but I still didn't do well on the math test. For this situation, I
went to my homeroom teacher to ask the soultion solution
to get a high score on the test. She
actually gave me a lot of solutions. After the counsel, I
realized it was ture sure that I
studied hard, but the way to study math was
wrong. Actually, I followed to one of his advices and then I
found me who was good at math (무슨 뜻이죠?). I think if I had kept trying to
solve the problem by myself, my math grade couldn't wouldn’t have been well improved.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Limited (0-16) |
Score |
11 |
Overall
Comment: |
Good try. 포인트는 잘
잡아주셨지만, 문법적인 오류가 너무 많아서 감점을 많이 드렸어요. 철자 오류도 많았습니다. 위 지적사항들을 참고해 주시길 바래요. 또한
같은 표현을 너무 반복적으로 사용하시는 습관이 있으세요. (ex. Problems, solve solutions etc) 그리고 문장
구조가 너무 단순합니다. |
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