▶ Your Answer : Some people think that we are less happier and satisfied than people who were in the past. However, in my opinion, I think that we live a better life than before since we can have many opportunities to do a lot of things, and our life is more convenient than that of the past. To begin with, we have more chances to experience different things. These days, we can go wherever we want in a day. Transportation systems are now evolving, so the world is becoming one. In fact, this gives me the opportunities to visit a lot of countries and meet various kinds of people. For example, I visited to the university of Kyoto in Japan last year. It only took about one hour to go to the Japan, and I met different kinds of people. We talked about our countries, culture, environment, and this was really happy experience for me because I could understand and communicate with them. If there were no developments in transportations like had not developed airplane or other transportation, I would not be able to visit Japan and experience such worthy things. On top of that, life is becoming more convenient. The development of technology makes it easy for people to save their time. Can you imagine a world without the computer or refrigerator? (의문문 등의 구어체 사용을 지양해주세요.) According to a study conducted by the university of Korea, they found that the mothers who do household chores today is able to rest properly and have better health condition and less able to sick than those in the past. They found that it took about ten hours to finish house chores like cleaning the house, laundry, and cooking in the past. However, it takes only five hours to finish tasks relating to house chores these days. Also, the level of depression is diminished today compared to the 1980’s. The research demonstrated that people can have more time to rest and do another things for themselves than the past. To sum up, we live in the world where there are more chance to experience and have many convenient things. In this regard, I think that we are happier and satisfied than people who were in the past. Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 비교급 사용 (happy) 주의해주세요. - 문장이 지나치게 길어지지 않게 작성해주세요. - 좀 더 포괄적인 이유 (예 - 현대 기술의 발전으로 인한 물리적 혜택 / 심리적 혜택) |