The topic of whether people have a desirable shopping habit is intriguing. Some people deem that people are always smart in their spending, since people are always careful in handling money, which is the number one value in modern society. However, I contend that people’s consumptions are easily affected by others. I would explain in details below. (주제와 직접적인 관련이 없는 불필요한 이야기가 길게 나옵니다. 1. 문제가 무엇인지 2. 그에 대한 글쓴이의 생각이 무엇인지가 서론에서 분명하게 드러나게 쓰세요.)
First of all, people tend to follow other’s consumption purchase since this will help them to share the common topic for conversation and thereby easily form a variety of relationships with others. To be more specific, social life is very important nowadays since modern society with because the highly competitive environment requires people who surpass with not only in specialty but also in sociability. This is why people always look for effective ways to broaden their human network. In this sense, sharing helpful shopping information and experiences of the same items is one of the easiest methods for ice breaking. This is proven by a survey conducted by Seoul National University of Korea. According to the poll, over 80% of surveyed people responded that they are often helped from utilizing the information of their recent purchase as the opening topic for conversations. Additionally, the respondents answered that if it had not been for the help, they cannot but repeatedly talking about only weathers to begin any conversation. Like this, common experiences of the same items are welcoming topics in networking and for this, people try to follow others’ purchases. (이 예시는 “사람을 만날 때 자기가 샀던 물건 이야기를 하면 좋다”는 이야기만 할 뿐, 그래서 “똑같은 물건을 사게 된다”는 이 글의 주제와는 연결이 되지 않습니다.)
On top of that, the development of technology made people to be easily tempted by tons of abundant shopping information, since people are exposed to too much information nowadays. There is a proverb; out of sight, out of mind. (불필요하고 부적절) On the contrary, when People are easily affected by things that they frequently face see. This principle is applied in people’s shopping pattern. As the internet and broadcasting technologies are developing continuously, people are knowingly or unknowingly exposed to tons of a lot of advertisements and information, including users’ positive reviews of items. (그럼 부정적인 review는? 상관없나요?) Therefore, unless people keep alerting against of the temptation of impulsive purchases, they are easily induced to buy the products on the advertisements or online information. My personal experience can explain this. Last week, before falling in sleep, I searched for some information about laptops since my one mine was broken. However, I ended up the day with buying keyboards and Bluetooth speakers (각각 단수가 적절하지 않을지?), although I have those items without any problem. Nevertheless, when I saw a fancy advertisements and information of big sales of those goods, I could not do anything but ended up to paying for them. Like this, myriad of information in this world always have great impact on people’s shopping.
To sum up, I believe that my explanations above demonstrate well about why people are affected to buy products by others with their purchase. The significance and the impact of social life and technology cannot be overemphasized.
Writing 0-30 scale
Fair (21-23)
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