▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that a university should invest their money on in social activities rather than on food for students. They may think supporting social activities has more advantages than improving food does. However, in my opinion, universities should spend their money on developing food at cafeterias because it can make students stay healthy and help them save their time. To begin with, improving food at university cafeterias can make students keep healthy. If a budget of university cafeterias is extended, they can provide students with healthy food at a reasonable proper price. Thus, students can stay healthy by using the cafeterias. (Because of what?) For instance, when I was in university, the cafeteria offered a low quality food to students. Thus, I so that we often headed to restaurants outside or usually used convenience stores to have lunch because I thought the food the convenience store had was not different from the cafeteria had. A few months later, I felt uncomfortable with my stomach and I could not concentrate on studying. (Relate with the above sentence) One day, my school increased budget for food, leading to new change in facilities and menu. and my friend suggested me to use the school cafeteria. They served various and healthy food for students and I started to enjoy having lunch there. As time passed by, I did not feel a pain in my stomach anymore and I recovered my health. Thus, I kept using school restaurant until I graduated from the university to stay healthy. (Bit awkward) On top of that, it helps students save their time. When If university cafeterias offer good food at a reasonable with an increased proper because of investment in improving food, a number of students would go to can use the school restaurant rather than go to and do not need to go other restaurants outside the university. Thus, This would save a lot of time for students can use their extra time to developing their academic performance and to participate in extra curricular activities. I can take an example of my friend. My friend’s school cafeteria was too small to accommodate admit many students and did not serve good quality of food enough to be satisfied with. Therefore, my friend had to use restaurants outside the campus the school and it took so long time to get there and come back. However, one day, his school decided to spend more money on improving the cafeteria and its food. My friend often went to started to use the school restaurant, saving time to travel around for lunch or dinner and then saved his time because he did not need to go other place that were far away from his school to have meals. Thus, With the time saved, also he could used his extra time to participate in a debate club and enjoy playing sports at the school. To sum up, spending more money on improving food at university restaurants can make students keep healthy and help them save their time. In this regard, I believe that universities should use their funds to make better food at the school cafeterias rather than support social activities for students.
| 채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Limited 15-17 | - 어색한 문맥이나 표현들이 많은 편이에요. - 두 가지 thesis는 잘 잡혀있지만, 근거를 통해서 자신의 논지를 더욱 구성력있게 나타내셔야 합니다.
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