▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that the Internet does not help students study more effectively. They may think that the Internet is not an effective tool for students to learn. However, in my opinion, students can learn more effectively with the help of the internet. This is due to the fact that students can use their time effectively and it helps students remember what they learn easily. --> Effectively가 자주 사용되기보단 다양한 동의어/유의어가 사용되는 것이 좋습니다. First of all, students can use their time efficiently. There are is plentiful information such as reference materials, research materials and photographic documents on the Internet, and people can have easy access to it. Students do not have to move to the other places to get the material they need if they have a computer, and it makes them save their time to move. Thus, students can use the extra time to improve other abilities. For instance, when I was in a middle school, my earth science teacher gave me an assignment about bird immigration and I needed to get some information about it. At first, I went to the school library, but there were only two books about birds so I moved to the public library. However, the books that I needed were already borrowed and I could not do anything but visit two more libraries. It took so long time for me to find the information, and I was exhausted to do any other activities. However, Now, I can use the Internet to do my college assignments and find most information I need on it. I usually do not need to go to the other places to get more information and use spare time to participate in a debate club to supplement my discuss ability. - 쉼표 사용 주의해주세요.
Second, the Internet helps students memorize the context more easily. Generally, people can remember something better when they understand them with visual resources such as images, graphs, and details. Students can use the resources that they can refer to on the Internet. Thus, students can remember better what they learn with the help of those resources. I can take an example of my high school friend. At that time, students usually did not have their own computers at home. When my friend studied physics for the mid-term exams, he struggled with understanding some main principles about movements. He said that he wanted to see some visual materials but could not find at the libraries. Therefore, he could not get a grade he wanted. One day, the school set up several computers at the library and have students use the Internet for studying. My friend started to use the Internet to see video clips to understand the physics principles, and it was a big help for him. Thus, he could get a higher grade on the final exam than before. To sum up, I believe that students can learn more effectively With the help of the Internet. This is because students can save their time and use the extra time to do other activities and it helps them remember what they learn effectively thank to detailed resources on the Internet.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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내용 구성/예시 등이 잘 정리된 글입니다. 수고하셨습니다.
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