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TOEFL Essay Structure 가 갖춰하지 않은 글 입니다. Introduction, Body (2 or more), Conclusion의 순서로 작성해야 합니다.
There are positive effects about using Cellphones. emergency, earning a lot of information, sparing the money by using many functions such as the dictionaries, calculator. 문장 형태로 작성해주세요. (Run on Sentence) First, cellular phones.can be a tool of emergency situations. Second, cellular phones. give us a lot of information. Finally, people can spare money by using cellular phones. - 대문자는 이름/문장 앞에서 사용됩니다. 문법 실수 주의 해 주세요.
Cellphones can be a tool of emergency situations. When emergency situation appears, people can contact their relatives or police officers as soon as possible by using cellular phones. For instance, when I hiked with my friend, he fell down suddenly. I had to request to anyone who can help him. However, nobody was there to help us out. I called the police on the phone. After a while, Police officers and ambulance workers arrived. Fortunately, my friend was carried to the hospital and became well. This is why I think cellular phones are beneficial to emergency situations.
Cellular phones give us a lot of information. We can find anything by using cellular phones. To be specific, when we study or prepare the presentation, we can find the information such as process of business or structure of the buildings by using the mobile application on our phone. In addition to, we can find the photos where we want to go. It is easy to find to human being getting an information by using online network that are available in cellular phones.
People can spare their money by using cellular phones. People should use the dictionary when they do not know what it means, and they should use calculator when they have to calculate the intricate problems. However, cellular phones can help people to use multiple devices without carrying it burdens such as many kinds of the dictionary, calculator, MP3 music player, etc. For instance, I was carrying many books, dictionaries, calculator, and music player in my bag when I went to school. However, after buying my cellular phone, I did not need to carry almost any of them. There were a lot of functions in my phone, I could find difficult words, sentences, and examples by using my cellular phones, which was really comfortable at that time.
In conclusion, cellular phones have many benefits in case of an emergency, getting a lot of information. Also, it allows people to get access to many functions with a single device. Therefore, we can feel more comfortable by using the cellular phones. cellphones by using Cellphones. There are a lot of possibilities in Cellphones relate to academic things, finding informations, contacting relatives. It gives many possitive effects to people.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 문법 실수가 다소 많습니다. |