A prevalent topic undergoing serious debate is whether student should have to do homework every day. Two different opinions exist in regard to this topic. After reviewing the opinions from several perspectives, I agree with the idea that students should have to do daily homework for the following two reasons. It enables students to improve their capability and prepare for exams efficiently.
(손 댈 데 없이 잘 쓴 서론입니다.)
To begin with, it can be beneficial to improve the students’ capability. While many consider that there are many alternatives to enhance students’ capability, we cannot deny the fact that while taking doing daily homework, students are able to understand the lectures clearly and they know what part he does they do (같은 문장에서 students, they로 썼기 때문) not understand. So, through this proves, they would overcome and make up their weakness. For instance, my cousin became a successful fund manager in a short period of time and she told me a secret about her success. She said that daily homework provides a perfect opportunity to retest her ability by concentrating on weak part in lecture (‘강의의 약점’은 표현이 어색하네요. ‘강의를 듣고 난 뒤 (자신의) 약점’ 혹은 ‘강의에서 충분히 배우지 못한 점’ 등 좀 더 자연스러운 표현이 필요할 듯). So, she was able to promote her capability and it was helpful helped to get a good job.
On top of that, it is a great way for students to prepare for exams efficiently. This is because students are able to review and to repeat what they learn in class through daily homework. So, they can save their time to prefer prepare (prefer는 ‘선호하다’는 뜻) for exams and they can instead participate in other activities. In addition, a well-known professor published an editorial in this field and his study supports my view. He said that taking daily homework is essential to study for exams because students do will not easily forget about what they learned, easily but, if they do not take homework every day, it is difficult for them to prepare for exams and they have to do cramp for exams. That is very stressful for them.
In conclusion, I believe that student should do daily homework for two reasons. It contributes to improve students’ capability and prepare for exams efficiently.
Writing 0-30 scale
Fair (24-25)
주장을 뒷받침하기 위한 두 point를 잘 정하고 아주 잘 설명했습니다.
다만 표현 면에서 부족하거나 어색한 부분이 있습니다.
대체로 문법이 잘못된 경우보다는 말하고자 하는 바를 문장 표현이 충분히 드러내지 못하는 경우입니다. 본문의 수정을 참고하여 공부하세요.
대명사를 쓸 때에는 앞선 문장들에서 가리키는 대상이 명확히 드러나는지를 반드시 확인하고, 단복수에 주의해서 써야 합니다.