▶ Your Answer : It is of great worth to discuss which option is the most important when choosing a place for living among following thee options : Living in an area not expensive, living close to relatives, and living in an area with shops and restaurants. The answer to this question can greatly vary depending on individual perspectives. While some people might choose the first option, others might choose the second or third one. As far as I am concerned, I believe that living in an area that is not expensive is the most important one for choosing a place to live. In this essay, I will explain and develop what I think and why I think so as deeply as I can in the following paragraphs.(주장만 우선 간략히 소개하는 것이 중요합니다.) First of all, living in a cheap area can allow people (주제가 student-focused가 아니기 때문에 대상을 broad하게 작성해주세요) to save money. In fact, there are a lot of things people have to spend money, such as taking loans for expensive tuition fee to study, buying meal, and so on. In order to to manage total a mount of loan or money, they need to use the money wisely by saving the biggest portion from housing. For instance, according to a survey conducted by an association of colleges in Korea, people think that they do not need to live in an expensive house because they spend most of their time for studying or work. More than 85% of people want to live in an area that are not expensive to save money. This figure means that it is more reasonable for students to live a cheap place.
Second, saving money can contribute to studying more effectively. If students have more money, they can buy a variety of special magazine relating to their major. This helps them get more competitive for future job field. For example, when I was sophomore in college, I decided to buy a lot of books about my major instead of spending money for expensive lent house. Therefore, I could get more professional knowledge, which could give me more job opportunities after graduation. This indicates that more money can offer students better options for study.
--> you라고 해서 student라고 범위를 국한하기 이전 general people 이 왜 cheap housing을 선택하였는지 설명을 충분히 적어야 합니다.
To summarize, I strongly believe that living in an area not expensive is the most important when choosing a place for living because of the reasons I mention above. + 주제 관련 미래 방향 등 전체 글을 마무리할 수 있는 내용 1~2문장으로 글을 끝내주세요.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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