▶ Your Answer :
Various opinions may exist over the argument whether educating
children is more difficult today than in the past since they spend so much time
on cell phone, online games, and social networking websites(주제에 사용된 단어를 그대로 사용하지 마시고 paraphrase해 주세요). As far as I am
concerned, I am in complete disagreement with the argument. The two idea stated
below can be valid evidence to support my view.
First of all, due to the advancement of technology, especially the
Internet, it has become extremely easier for teachers to teach children. In the
past, many teachers had to spend tremendous amounts of time and effort finding
information and teaching materials for the classes. However, as the technology
is coming closer and closer the cutting edge, finding and preparing the class
become so much easier and faster than ever through the Internet. According to a
recent survey conducted by Stanford University, most of surveyed teachers
answered that they were strongly helped by modern Internet service when they prepared
for finding the source used to teach children in the classroom. They also
responded that without the development of technology, they might not have known
how to find the materials teaching children more efficiently. (GOOD)
On top of that, there are more researches and studies about educating
skills to children or students than in the past to overcome technological issues like social media and online games. Over a couple of decades, many
scholars have been studying the theories or practical ones for education. It
definitely gives teachers much more effectual ways to know how to handle children
in classroom. My experience can be used to prove this point. I have been
working as a teacher at an elementary school. About 30 years ago, I did not
know the backgrounds how to teach children efficiently. However, the situation is
totally different now. Due to lots of research about the education, I can
easily get information and knowledge about how to deliver the stuffs or
materials of handouts and communicate with children more efficient ways. Even
though it takes more time for me to study for preparing to teach children, I am
now no longer thinking about the demanding difficulties when I teach children at
school. + 주제가 "Online game, Social Media, Website"등이 연관되어 있는 만큼 이것을 현재의 practical way of teaching으로 어떻게 극복이 가능한지 / 이에 대해 얼마나 많은 연구가 되어 이 3가지가 더 이상 장애물이 아님을 증명해야 합니다.
To sum up, I believe that nowadays educating children is rarely more
difficult than previously. Obviously, the significance of the development of
technology and enhancement of research on education field cannot be
overemphasized enough. Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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