▶ Your Answer :
It is important for political or business leaders to take responsibility for their mistake. Agree? Anwser :
We can sometimes we can see leaders of political or business organizations try to avoid their responsibility coming from the mistakes. However, it is absurd absord attitude because it will make bigger the damage bigger and the leader won’t be successful as an admirable role model among other members. 본론에서 제시하실 근거를 briefly 하게 설명해주시면 좋을 것 같네요~
To begin with, it is the leaders who have power to make decision to minimize harmful effects when they make some mistakes leaders take mistake, it is them who has the power to decide what to do next to minimize bad result followed the mistake. 왜 그렇게 생각하시는지 이유도 써주세요~ If they try to shun to be responsible and expect other members to correct the mistake, there should be confusing situation sistuation that others hardly get to the consensus, meaning that the situations is getting worse. 그냥 처음부터 clear 하게 쓰시는 것이 좋겠네요~ hardly get to the consensus 가 왜 나오는지 이유를 모르겠습니다. 지금까지 합의에 대한 내용이 나오고 있었던 것도 아니고요.. 무엇에 대한 합의를 한다는 것인지도 나와있지 않네요.. Especially for the business company, since they are eager not to lose their profit, a single mistake can be a disaster. Therefore, to escape from problematic situations, leaders need to speak out the immediate solution with responsibility.
Furthermore, leaders are standing at the top of the line of a group or organization(,) so that other members tend to follow how the leader behave. Supportive sentence! In other words, leaders usually considered to be the most influential role model for the members morally, intellectually intellectically and in many other aspects. If the leader does not take responsibility on their mistakes (shows the behavior of keeping avoid taking responsibility responsibiliy that comes from their mistake,) it is likely for other members to mimic that. Therefore, it is possible that other members maintain the attitude of avoiding their responsibility when they make a take mistake, which can hinder the development of company. 전반적인 글의 주제가 무엇인지 확실하지는 않습니다. 리더의 역할이 중요한 이유인가요? Body 1은 그에 대한 본인의 의견이 맞는 것 같은데 두 번째도 그런건가요? 다른 사람들이 리더를 따라하기 때문에 리더의 역할이 중요하다 이런 내용인건가요?
To sum up, political or business leader should be responsible when they take mistake. As I have said above, in being so, the organization can overcome the problematic situation and other members can internalized the responsible behavior.
Intro 에서는 글의 토픽과 본인의 입장이 clear 하게 드러나야함을 명심해주시길 바랍니다. 문단 구분도 정확하게 하시어 내용을 이해하는 데 어려움이 없도록 해야합니다. 수고하셨습니다~ |