▶ Your Answer :
Friends are one of the most valuable assets in your life. You and your friends can share emotions, have fun, and learn from each other. Sometimes, however, you may see some mistakes that your friend is going to do and be worried about them. In this case, I think that it is better not to take (to+verb) any actions for your friends than to give advice to them for the following reasons; people can learn from mistakes and you can lose your friendship due to hasty advice. 정말 깔끔하고 훌륭한 introduction같아요^^ 문법도 완벽하고 처음 읽자마자 높은 레벨의 에세이라는걸 알 수 있는 멋진 intro에요!!^^
First of all, a person learns from mistakes. In order not to repeat the same mistakes, it is sometimes helpful to experience the mistakes. Even though you obviously know the whole situation that your friend is going to make mistakes, do not involve in the problem and allow your friend to get realized by himself, which is beneficial for their life. For instance, my friend and I used to play online computer games. Since the game was not for free, we purchased the game items. However, my friend, at some point, illegally got a number of game items and got addicted to them. As I thought that he should collect his mind, I did not take any action. He finally went to a prison charged on the cybercrime. After getting out of the place, he told me that he realized how bad his behavior had been.
개인적으로 정말 잘 쓰신 에세이라서 첨삭할 곳이 없네요^^ 경험을 예제로 들어서 설명한 것도 흥미롭고 문장과 문장사이가 잘 이어져서 이해하기도 수월해요~^^
Furthermore, your advice about your friend's mistake can hurt him/her and eventually break your relationships. Saying something right to your friend requires risks that may ruin your friendship. For example, when I was in a college, my friend frequently cheated my math homework. It was clearly wrong but I didn't take any action for the first time. However, he got worse and cheated mine a lot so I finally talked to him to do your homework on your own. Although I tried not to hurt his feeling, our friendship ended after a big fight.
In sum, I do not recommend that you tell something about mistakes of your friend. It is mainly because he/she can be realized realize mistakes by experiencing them, and your friendship can be broken. Sometimes silence can be a solution.
supporting idea가 뚜렷하고 주장을 잘 나타내신 에세이에요! 조금 긴게 아쉽지만 수준급의 에세이같아요~^^ 수고하셨습니다! |