▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that the purpose of watching television is only for entertainment and no other purposes exist. But I think the purpose of watching television televion should be for education. It is because there are a number of channels that people can choose Because there are a variety of channels people can choose to study what they want to and the family member can be more closely related while parents try to explain about what they are watching what both parents and children see on tv.
First, because there are lots of channels people can select, people can choose different topics which they want to know. Why do you think so? 첫 문장을 적절하게 뒷받침해줄 수 있는 supportive sentence 가 필요합니다. For example, when I was preparing for taking to take university entrance exam/entry test, I could watch educational programs on TV, tv which covered most of subjects that I needed to take. Without those programs, I would not pass the test. Also, from the main new programs, 정확하게 무슨 프로그램인지 언급해주면 더 좋을 것 같네요. we can catch what's going on around the world 뉴스를 통해서도 충분히 알 수 있는 내용 아닌가요? 굳이 교육프로그램을 통해서만 알 수 있는 topic 은 아닌 것 같네요..and use those useful informations to talk with my colleagues. 조금 더 구체적인 예시를 내세우신다면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.
On top of that, family members can build closer relationship while be more closely related by watching same educational programs. This is because children can get immediate answers from their parents about what they inquire while both parents and children watch television; thus, all family members would understand each other better. (논리적이지 않습니다. 부모와 아이가 묻고 대답하는 것은 개인적인 것이 아니라 시청하고 있는 교육 프로그램에 관한 것입니다. “신뢰감”을 쌓는다던지 등의 다른 방향으로 잡으시는 것이 더 논리적이라고 할 수 있겠습니다.) Also, I recently saw a report about children-parents relationships which showed that children who had more time with their parents could enter the top university. 이것이 부모와 자녀가 함께 교육 프로그램을 볼 때 “closer relationship” 을 가질 수 있다는 이번 문단의 중심내용과 어떻게 관련이 있나요?
For these reasons, I firmly believe believes that the purpose of television should be for education.
수고하셨습니다~ |