Technology makes children less creative
Our generation have
(is) helped
by (benefitting
from) many of develped
technology and I am sure (that) the next
genration will be. Then why we define whether
technology negative effect to creation of creativeness of childhood or not
(analyze the negative effect of technology)? I strongly insist topic we have to discuss is waste of
time, and this is several reasons why I feel that. (You should respect the prompt before getting a good grade on
it! No discussion is worthless.)
First, there are (is) no quiet realtionship
(realationship, a quiet relationship?) between
technology and our baby's creativeness. I cannot say many child fall(s) in love with a new cutting edge technology. Even if they do, that just consume by their parents, not
their by own. (it is the product consumed by
their parents, not by them.) I am saying the products which fasicinate (fascinate)
our child are all of the result of technology anyway, but almost lmited (limited)
area and the word technology means too huge and ambiguous for them. (Could not understand this part. I apologize)
Overall, ideas makes
technology, and ideas are (the) bid(s) of creativeness. If the first paragraph still make(s) you remain (maintain)
the opposite side (point of view), I would like
you talk (in a) more formal way, more commonly. Everyone
know(s) about (not
perfectly though) a sticky liaison between creativeness and technology.
So many Ideas from labors inside the basement makes the progress of technology
anyhow. Which type of mother hesitate their adorbale babies tried to reach the
idea bank?
(The paragraph above is too
informal and aggressive – this is certainly a minus to your essay. Write in TONE
that you would use in Korean.)
When I was young, I do (did) not
think about technolgy (technology) or my creativeness. Nevertheless, I just fall (fell) in
love with toy or television and new thing(s).
Kids (are) always fasicinated
(fascinated) by iinteresting
(interesting) things and that stimulate their creativeness (creativeness).
Technology stimulate(s) kids(‘) ideas, not harmful
things for (without harming) them.