▶ Your Answer :
It is often said that teachers should make their students know their own social and political views. However, I believe that teachers should be neutral especially when they deal with controversial subjects for two reasons: students are likely to have a biased view when they know their teacher's view(,) and they can learn the best through their own discussion without knowing teacher's opinion.
To begin with, if a teacher shows his or her view to students, they may become biased to the view. This is due to the fact that students who lack a sense of judgment tend to pick up their teacher's opinion and belief system without casting doubts. (일단 처음 두 문장이 clear 하게 구성되었습니다!) Therefore, although the teacher's view has both of advantages and disadvantages, most of students will consider the view as "the answer". For example, when I was tenth grade, there was a history teacher who was favorable to a political organization. He always said that the organization had promoted a social justice(,) and voiced his criticism about opinions against the organization. Most of students who took his class thought that his opinion was absolutely right. After graduation, however, I realized that the organization's ideology was controversial among people(,) and it had not only negative aspects, but also positive aspects. it had not only positive aspects but also negative aspects 라고 해야 흐름이 더 살 것 같아요. 분명 선생님은 그 organization 의 positive aspect 만 말해줬을 것이고 그것이 전부라고 믿었는데 negative 한 점도 있다는 것을 졸업 후에 알게 된 것이니까요~ In other words, listening to the teacher's opinion made me have a prejudice. (선생님이 말씀하신 그 view 가 무엇이었는지까지 설명된다면 구체적인 이해가 가능할 것 같스빈다!)
In addition, students can deeply understand subjects when they discuss without knowing teacher's view. This is attributed to the fact that they can learn more effectively by developing their own standpoints by discussing with each other. (이번 문단도 앞의 두 문장 잡는 것은 괜찮게 하신 것 같습니다~) In comparison, since teachers usually have more well-organized views than their students, showing their opinions will discourage students to think deeply about the subject. According to a study conducted by Seoul National University of Korea in 2012, there was a significant difference between two groups of students when they discussed democracy and socialism after a lecture: Group A was given their teacher's opinion before the discussion(,) while and Group B was not given anything at all. After discussion, both groups took a paper-based examination in order to measure how deeply understand the topic. Interestingly, the average score of Group B was 36 percent higher than the former group. This implies that the teacher's view distract students from thinking deeply.
In brief, although teachers' opinions can provide students with more developed ideas, they should not show their personal views because their opinions could make students have tilted views, while students can learn more effectively by discussing their own opinions.
전반적으로 자신의 입장을 clear하게 잘 밝혀주셨습니다. 적절한 근거와 supportive sentence 로 글의 흐름도 흐트러짐없이 잘 흘러갔습니다. 표현력도 괜찮습니다! 생소한 주제라고 하셨지만 잘 쓰셨습니다!! 수고하셨습니다~ :) |