▶ Your Answer :
It is difficult to say which one is better, depend on one's peculiarity of job. (읽는사람은 주제를 모를 수도있다는점에대해서 꼭 기억하세요 그리고 일반서술형으로 글을 써주시길 바라겠습니다 Even though there are some exceptions, for several reasons, I believe mostly it is better to work with other people than alone. In other words, working together is far outweigh working alone. (여기서 자신이 주장하는 side의 이유 2가지 혹은 본론에서 암시한다고 글남겨주세요)
First of all, you will not become boring while you work with other people. For instance, in a break time,
you can chat with somebody you like, and also you can tell them your problem or anxiety to make them share thier thinking. Furthermore, by having a conversation with variety of different people with different perspective, you can learn many things in many aspects. (여기서 예시까지 써주시면 좋을거라고 생각이 드네요 ㅎㅎ 그후에 closing sentence 까지써주시면 더욱 좋을것 같습니다. 지금상태로는 내용이 너무없어요...)
On top of that, you may not get any help, if you work alone. Since you are not a diety, it is neccesity to rely on other people for sometimes. There is always sort of difficult problem, one can never solve by oneself. For brief example, you can not start your car when your car is not working of some problem related with ignition of engine or out of battery. Since you are not proffesional with car instrument, you have to ask somebody to get some help. Therefore, working alone meant to be ardent for someway. (내용은 좋았습니다. 하지만 약간 뭔가가 부족하다라는 느낌이 좀 들었어요. 이 밑줄그은 부분에 좀더 detail하게 전개나아가주셨으면 좋겠다는생각이드네요 ㅎㅎ
In conclusion, while it depends on propency of career, mostly it is better to work together with other people. Anyhow, "two heads are better than one."
Comment: 에쎄이에서는 분량을 보면, 어느정도의 실력이 보여요. 정말 잘하는사람들은 딱일정량을 넘어서지 않아요. 아직 약간 부족합니다. 좀더 분량을 채우려고 노력해보세요. 분명 느실거에요. 언급드린점참고해주시고요 수고하셧습니다 ㅎ
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