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From movies, we can get lots and lots a number of information about the other countries. We can easily notice it by comparing their life style to ours. introduction은 너무 짧고 내용이 많이 빈약해요. 이 다음 단락에서 어떻게 무슨내용이 전개될지 암시적 내용을 쓰시는게 좋을것 같아요~
let's look at the example.For instance, in the movie named "love actually", which is known as british movie, most of people are using English. From this part, we can easily obviously notice that native language of England is English.(잉글리쉬와 나라명을 말할때는 꼭 첫알파벳은 대문자인거 잊지마세요~^^) Also from the scene that house visiting of when Hough grant visited a house, we can notice that british people are living in the low-rise househousing, in contrast to (영국사람들과 한국사람들의 차이점을 비교할때 in contrast =~와 대조적으로 가 더 맞는것 같아요) Even though most of korean (Korean=한국 사람이란 단어로 따로 people이 들어가지 않아요~^^) people are living in the high-rise apartment(usually with twenty stories or more higher than that). In addition, More than that, we can get a information about the weather of England.(Hough grant said that its quite cludy) or eating habits and so on. (*information은 복수/단수가 없어요~)
As I mentioned above, from the tiny one to the bigger one, there are apparent differences exist in other countries' life style .apparent life style difference. Although some informations information can be transmitted to us in distorted or inflated way ways, movies are still good media to get a clue of other countries' life style. Therefore, movies tell a lot about a country.
일단 에세이 자체가 너무 간략하고 짧아요. 접속부사를 적절히 넣음으로 문장의 흐름을 더 좋게 바꿀 수 있을것 같아요- 동사 원형과 현재 진행형을 집중적으로 보시고 두번째 단락에서 더 자세하게 쓰시는게 좋을것 같아요. ^^ |