▶ Your Answer :
Most people believe that people who is old have more useful skills and knowledge than younger people, so older people do not need to learn from people who are younger than them. However, I believe there are many things that young people are able to teach older people such as creativity and up-to-date technological devices. In this essay, I will present briefly two reasons supporting my opinion. ( 주장하는 이유2가지 빨간줄로 했습니다.)
First and foremost, younger people's way of thinking can make older people to think out of perspective they had before. To be specific, people who are young thinks think (수일치꼭해주세요) freely than old people. Whereas people who lived long are affected by perspective of majority of people, so called "normality", young peoples do not have enough time to accept other people's thinking. Therefore, if older people hear how young people respond to specific situation or what young people consider as suitable solution for difficult situation, older people can learn other aspects of situation or solution. For example, when I visited my younger cousin, I had trouble in my mid term exam. I only thought of some difficult solution for that problem. Then my younger cousin, who is 7 years old gave me the way to solve it that I never thought of. (여기서 좀 아이의 순수함을 더 supporting 하게 넣어주시면 좀더 재밌어질것 같아요 ㅎㅎ) Thus, younger can assist older people by giving them the new way of thinking.
Moreover, young people can convey the skill that is used for utilize cutting-edge electronic devices to older people. In detail, young people understand of new things better than older people, such as smart phone, internet. However, older people may have trouble in getting used to up-to-date applications. cause <-cause 왜쓰신건가요? 확인부탁드려요 ㅎㅎ) they are not aware of what to start first. Therefore, by teaching older people way to use such devices, younger people can benefit (조동사+ 동사원형) benefits many older people. For example, in my community's service center, there is a program that old people can learn how to use computer by university students. The old who attended in that program said that it was very helpful for him (여기서 어떻게 얼마나 도움이 됬는지 영향이 얼마나 컷는지에대해서 좀더 자세히 설명해주면 정말 설득력있을것같아요, For this reason, young people can teach useful skill to use new devices to old people.
To sum up, younger people have many abilities that older people do not posses, such as different point of view and how to use new appliances, hence, they can teach those things to older people.
Comment: 전반적으로 정말 잘 쓰셨어요. 하지만 너무 자잘한 mistake들이 너무많았습니다. 그래서 감점요인이 좀 클 수가 있을것 같아요. 이런점들만 조심해주시면좋겠습니다. 수고하셨어요 |