▶ Your Answer :
When industrialization started, people and companies didn’t put their concern on the environmental problems since they did not consider the importance of the environment due to lack of environment importance. Under this circumstance, environment which had been damaged by pollution from companies and people and it is getting got worse and this fact significantly affected human life badly. After people realized that environment should be protected because its it’s importance with human survival, people started to put their efforts to save environment through thorough the various ways and hopefully, environment is being changed gradually. Therefore, I disagree with the idea that even though many people care about environmental problems, these environmental situations are not likely to be improved in the future.
Above all, people started to be changed and had an interest on environmental problems. (supportive sentence 도 써주시면 좋겠습니다.)More international organizations and individual governments were born and made various kinds of systems to effectively protect environmental problems. Due to these huge changes, private companies, which normally pursue only their its profit, even invest considerable time and money to follow this new trend because they cannot manage their companies without environmental realization. If they did not follow it, their products could be strictly prohibited by international or governmental laws and consequently they will be bankrupt. For example, my company is recently spending huge amounts of money on producing/ developing environmental-friendly products environmentally friendly technology so that more clients will trust us and buy more products naturally.
In addition, as many people care about environmental matters, people or government will make high technology which could solve/ improve environmental problems effectively. In the past, it seemed that developing environmental friendly technology was not effective and helpful way to solve environmental problems since the nature had been damaged/ polluted in a fast speed by human and industrialization the development of environmental friendly technology could not follow to the rapid speed of pollution by human and industrialization. However, as technology is getting developed quickly, better technology is are being invented which develop industries without environmental damage. One of good example is green energy such as wind power and solar energy. They can produce pure electricity without pollution so they could make the environment as clean return our environment as previous state previously clean.
To conclude, I strongly believe that environmental problems in our planet, earth, would be improved in the future because more people realized the importance of environment which is human’s basis to be able to live. Moreover, technology which will be developed by human will cure damaged our planet. Therefore, people should not give up protecting to protect our planet and should need to put their (주어로 people 을 쓰셨습니다!) our best effort to improve it for our happy life and offspring.
본인의 입장은 clear 합니다. 그러나 근거와 그 근거를 support 하는 내용들이 분명하지 않거나 혹은 구체적인 내용들이 없어서 충분하게 설명되지 않는 듯 합니다. 생각을 충분히 정리해보시고 논리적인 뼈대를 먼저 만드시고 글을 써보시는 것이 좋겠습니다. 수고하셨습니다~ |