▶ Your Answer :
Some people may believe that people do not have to rush to learn other languages because there are countless matters to learn about. However, after some reflection, it is evident that children should be involved in studying other languages when they are still young. This is because children have a special ability to adopt adapt foreign languages and they would have wider perspectives and become tolerant of others.
To begin with, I strongly believe that children should study second language as early as possible. (본인의 입장은 이미 인트로에서 다 밝혀졌습니다. 여기서는 본인이 근거로 삼는 것이 첫 문장에 나오도록 하셔야 합니다.)This is largely due to young people’s are able to special capability to learn new languages with their special capability. (이 부분이 첫 문장이 되어야할 것 같군요~ 그리고 추가적으로 supportive sentence 써주시면 됩니다.) To be specific, according to numerous studies and experiments, children, in particular around 3 or 4 years in particular, have so called Language Acquisition Device on their brain. It helps children young people to learn languages very easily and quickly. However, as children age, they lose the this special ability. That is, if they do not begin to be involved in studying foreign languages early, they will have a difficulty in learning languages later on. In this sense, people should study second language as soon as possible.
In addition, by studying other countries' languages of other countries, children would become more tolerant towards others and well-rounded person. (idea 는 드러났는데 왜 그렇게 생각하는지는 제시되지 않았습니다. Supportive sentence 써주세요~) Many scholars believe that people are able to learn about countries by having deep understanding of its languages since languages contain their cultures and histories. For example, most Asian languages show their tendency of extreme polite expressions such as Korean, Japanese, and Chinese. On the contrary, Spanish sounds more like exciting and passionate. As you can see learning languages provides people with the true understanding of the country. (저는 이 앞문장만 읽고는 true understanding of the country 가 되는지 잘 모르겠습니다.. 구체적인 정보를 주세요~) The earlier children study languages, the larger and deeper understanding of the world they get.
In conclusion, I definitely support the idea that children should learn another language as soon as possible. Due to in large part to the ability children have and the true understanding children can get by learning languages.
내용면에서 보충 및 개선하셔야 할 부분들이 있습니다. 코멘트 참고하시어서 더 나은 글을 만들어보시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다! |