To begin
with, working at office allows people to broaden their horizon. This is due to
the fact that employees who work at their company have many opportunities to
meet others with different background and a variety of experience. This
frequent contact exposes people to different worlds
of lifestyles, customs, and cultures. Through this experience,
people can learn to embrace diversity. It is especially important given that
modern society are (is) becoming
increasingly (choose btwn becoming / increasingly)
globalized. For example, when my youngest brother went to a fast-food
restaurant with his best friend who worked at home, there was a(n) Ethiopian girl who was eating a home-made food there. It smelled strange and even she (even)
ate with her hands without using a spoon and a
folk (fork!!!!!). Although his best
friend who had never seen such behavior kept his distances from her, my brother
felt comfortable with it. This was because he experienced (a) similar situations at company by watching (with)
his co-workers. This showed that when people work in office, they can widen
their perspectives.
Furthermore,
people can improve a sense of responsibility by working at their company. This
is attributed to the fact that there are a lot
of regulations at office. Thus,
Working people (working) at office
are asked for many obligations, such as arriving at workplace on time,
cooperating with co-worker(s), and abiding by rules (the workplace
ethics). Through (As) the consequences
of negligent activities(y), they can learn the importance of obligation. For
example, my older sister used to be lazy and selfish.
She (but) has changed little by
little after started worked (starting a work) at a fast food restaurant. He
realized that his laziness had negatively affected everyone by delaying every
step to provide good (of) service for customers. Naturally, he became more
punctual, played his part well, and even encouraged other members who had (were having)
a hard time. (Your sister suddenly changed to “He”)
This instance shows that working at office enables people to develop a sense of
responsibility.
(It seems that you are well over with the basic steps to good writing, so instead I concentrated on improving some parts even if it did not involve grammar mistakes. You should thoroughly check your grammar to make it distinctly complete, while honing your skill to write in succinct expressions seems necessary for the next step. I’m glad that I can ask you to try some embellishments for your writing, but Don’t ever do it for the test.)