▶ Your Answer :
An intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. The answer to this question can vary greatly(,) depending on the individual perspectives. Thus, the jury may still be out, but as far as I am concerned, I agree with the statement. In this essay, I will present two reasons supporting my standpoint as follows.
First off, students possibly become biased when teachers transmit their views. This is attributed to the reason that students are very easy to have one-sided view susceptible to being partial because they becuase children have a tendency to accept adults' opinion without verification verifying. (이 부분이 살~짝 애매합니다. 아이들이 편파적인 시각을 가질 수 있다. one sided view 를 지금부터 언급할 필요없이 students are not mature enough to verify what they were told 이 정도로만 써주셔도 될 것 같아요. Susceptible to be partial 은 편파적이 되는 데 민감하다 라는 애매한 표현이 됩니다. 차라리 students are susceptible to accept adults’ opinion 이라고 하시는 것이 낫겠습니다.) Also, since teachers are already grown-ups, they generally have their own concrete views which tend to be single-sided and these educators' views can be an obstacle for students to have having a chance to judge matters on their own. For instance, one of my friends had a teacher who was extremely conservative. The teacher frequently instilled his conservative political opinions and negative characteristics of progressive policies in students/ class. Soon, my friend got used to accept the teacher's view and began to agree with the notion. As a result, my friend became very skeptical to certain political views without logical reason. (친구에 관한 이야기와 본인의 의견을 종합적셔서 한 문장으로 끝맺음해주세요.)
On top of that, school is a venue for education not for political discussion. As society has become more competitive, students are required to learn an enormous amount of information before they graduate. Because they should learn a lot the amount of knowledge they have to acquire is enormous, the time for each subject is limited. This limited time is too valuable to be wasted on talking about political issues which usually have no plain answer. For example, when I was in middle school, my math teacher was so engrossed in social matters that he often spent much time on discussing the issues in class. Consequently, I could not learn a lot about math(,) and had to study myself in order to maintain grade academic performance. (여기도 개인적인 생각과 예시를 종합하여 한 문장으로 끝맺음 해주세요.)
In conclusion conlcusion, I strongly argue for my standpoint on account of the two reasons mentioned above. Once again, the verdict may still be out. However, I personally believe that two of my rationales are sufficiently convincing to represent the viewpoint of the majority of people who are in favor of my claim.
본문에 친구를 예시로 사용하셨는데 객관적인 자료도 사용해주시면 좋을 것 같고요. 스펠링 실수하지 않도록 글을 쓰신 후 proofreading은 필수적으로 해주시기 바랍니다. 수고하셨습니다~ ^^ |