▶ Your Answer :
Some argue that people should get information from different news sources in order to be well-informed. (본인의 입장도 밝혀주시고 그 이유로 들어가셔야죠~)First, people face lots of many information which conveys people’s different viewpoints and also people can have up-to-date news by getting information from different new sources.
First, we can understand the issue problem better by getting information from different news sources. (왜 문제를 이해하기 더 쉽나요? 이 질문에 대한 답이 supportive sentence 가 됩니다! 매체마다 이해관계에 따라 뉴스를 보도하는 경우가 많기 때문이다 등이 올 수 있겠죠?) These days we are swamped by huge volumes of information. The problem is that all the information carries writer’s viewpoint. In this respect, we have to understand people’s viewpoint. (문제 –사실 problem 보다는 issue 라는 단어가 더 적합하다고 할 수 있겠습니다-- 를 잘 이해하기 위해서 다양한 뉴스source를 접해야한다고 했는데, 이어지는 문장에서 말하는 문제는 “writers’ viewpoint” 되어버렸습니다. ㅠ) Let me take an example of a news about the Iraq war news. Some countries said that it was very crucial (단어 맞게 사용하셨나요? Cruel 아닌가요?) to go to war having war. Of course this opinion was shown by anti-war group. On the other hand, America depicted the war as an only way to restore world peace. As this illustrates above, there are different viewpoints with the same issue.
Also, people can get up-to-date news from different news sources. (최신 뉴스를 아는 데 왜 굳이 different news source 를 접해야할까요? 이에 대한 답변이 supportive sentence 가 될 수 있겠습니다. 때로는 매체의 특성상 최신의 뉴스를 전달하지 못할 때도 있기 때문이다. 이런 것도 될 수 있겠죠?) Our world is evolving at a surprising speed. In order to adjust well to in our society, we need to get the latest information as possible as we can. Take my personal experience as a way of example. I usually watch weather forecasts at night to get the information about tomorrow’s weather. But in order to be prepared for any other cases I look for the morning newspaper to see what the weather is like. Also this can apply to my stock investment. To be well informed, I make a lot of efforts to have exact information from looking for diverse news sources. In this way I can find suitable information to gain more profit/ increase my money. Without my efforts to get diverse information from different new sources, I might have lost a lot of money.
To sum up, I definitely agree to the statement that people should get information from different news sources. By doing so, they can consider people’s viewpoints when they get information and also they can be up-to-date news taker.
디테일을 더 살려주셨으면 좋겠습니다. 정확한 이유는 알 수 없지만, 다른 글에서 발밟지마님께서도 사용하신 stock investment가 예시로 사용된 것을 보았고 흐름도 매우 흡사했습니다. 이래서 구체적으로 디테일하게 쓰는 것이 중요한 이유가 아닐까 하는 생각이 듭니다. 글의 흐름도 supportive sentence 까지 넣으셔서 조금씩 clear 하게 잡아주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다~ ^^ |