▶ Your Answer :
People today have watched a lot of advertisings. Some people think that television advertisings targeting children under the age of five should be allowed because they can get useful information from these. However, I don’t agree with it; there are two reasons. (간략하게 본인의 이유를 서술해주시는 것이 좋겠습니다.)
First of all, young children under the age of five are not mature enough to distinguish which products actually they need. To be specific, they would want to have most of objects of advertisings which are very attractive to them since they have very intense desire to pretty and playful objects than adults. (highlight 된 부분이 결국엔 본인의 근거와 supportive sentence 가 되겠습니다. 이 두 가지 포인트를 놓치지 마시고 이번 문단에서 expound 하시면 되겠습니다.) Also, they can ask their parents to buy the products regardless their needs and financial situations because they can’t control their desire (이 더 적절하지 않을까요? 필요가 없음에도 산다는 의미로 서술하셨으니까요~) needs as much as old people. For example, according to the Korean National Survey Company, (company 의 이름이 아니라면 굳이 대문자로 표기하실 필요 없습니다.) 87% of children under the five pressed their mothers to buy them the lipsticks for adult women(,) when they watched television advertising of these. It means children can’t make right decisions if they need the products advertised on TV products they need or not. (여기서 말하는 광고는 “5살 이하의 어린이를 대상으로 하는 광고” 아니었나요? 예가 절적하지 않은 듯 합니다.) Therefore, I can say that advertising can cause children to buy things on impulse impulse buying.
Furthermore, some advertising have wrong information to attract customers and young children could just trust these. In other words, there are many exaggerated advertisings, but young children would believe the information without doubts because they don’t have enough experiences and knowledge. For instance, I watched television advertising with my young cousin, who was is 4 years old. It said if you have the water color, you can paint like Picasso and it they showed very nice paintings drawn by of children. She really wanted to have it and got it. But she realized she can’t paint like the children in advertising. So, I think television advertising for children should not be banned (본인의 입장 표현이 잘못되었네요? 수정해주세요) because they trust all information of television advertising which might be not true.
For these reasons, I think television advertising directed toward children under age of five should not be allowed.
수고하셨습니다! |