▶ Your Answer :
Kia 12
It is undeniable that families and friends are the best supporters for us. However, I don't believe that their advices are the best way to learn about life because many diverse ways to learn about life exist in this world and close people's advice is not always right.
To start with, there are many ways to draw a lesson about life in the world. Why do you think so? 앞 문장을 적절하게 보충설명할 수 있는 문장이 와야합니다. Some learn about life from books about life, some from experience(,) and others from advice. Like this, each one varies when it comes to the method of learning about life. Therefore, it is wrong that any particular thing is the best way. For instance, one of my friends used to be called ''mama's girl'' among friends because she always followed only her mother's opinion. 라는 부사가 벌써 들어갔기 때문에, 굳이 only를 사용하실 필요는 없습니다 ^^> Also, she told us that there was nothing for her to lose by doing so. However, one day, she realized that her life was not what she truly wanted to live after reading a book about happiness. So she made a decision to change her attitude toward life from her mother's way to her own one and in the end she could gain true happiness. 어떤 방법을 통해 삶을 배웠는지에 초점을 맞추고 써주시는 것이 더 좋을 것 같습니다.
In addition, the advice from close people doesn't always lead us in the right direction. Supportive sentence 써주세요`~ Although families and friends care about us than anyone else, their affection and advice toward us sometimes get us into trouble. For example, my older sister was a well-rounded student in her high school. My parents naturally had a high expectation for her and they hoped that she would go to a medical or law school after graduating from high school. She did not want to disappoint them and so she went to the medical school regardless of her aptitude with ignoring her aptitude. However, a year later, she couldn't help but drop out of her school because she had to suffer from extreme stress due to maladjustment to her school. 본인의 idea 와 예시를 종합해서 마지막 문장으로 써주시면 좋을 것 같네요.
To conclude, I disagree that the best way to learn about life is by listening to the advice of friends and family. This is because people can find plenty of other ways to learn about life aside from it and their advice doesn't always put us on the right path.
내용적인 보충이 많이 되었으면 좋겠습니다. 수고하셨습니다. |