▶ Your Answer :
Some argue that it is more desirable for the students to take one specialized subject than many different subjects. I disagree with this statement, however, since by studying diverse subjects students can find their hidden talents. And also they can be more desirable job candidates by studying as much as they can.
Most importantly, students can figure out what field they have interest interest them by having chances to take taking many subjects. supportive sentence 가 없네요? These days most of the students are under busy schedules. So they usually don’t know their interest what interest them and what to pursue. In this case, by studying many subjects, they could get more there are much more chances for them to experience of feeling of enjoyment at certain area. According to study released by Korean Statistic Bureau, most of the respondents said that they got succeeded because of selecting one right field by studying many different subjects. They added that they could easily find their interest by comparing diverse subjects they attended. As this illustrated above, people can find what to pursue through their whole lives by having diverse curriculums
Moreover, students can easily get the jobs they wanted by studying many subjects. 또 적절한 supportive sentence 가 없습니다. In today’s competitive society it became much harder to get jobs. In this respect, students who are competitive have competition can have much more possibilities to get the suitable jobs. To become a desirable job candidate, students therefore should take diverse subjects at school. For instance, according to Wall Street Journal, many of the senior job recruiters prefer a person who studied diverse subjects. They explained that by having classes from different fields, students can be more analytical and creative. And also these characteristics, in the long run, make them succeed easily/ to easily success at their careers. In this sense, students can lead successful lives by attending many subjects. 그들이 원하는 직장을 구할 수 있다는 것이 처음 시작이었는데 끝은 직장에서 성공할 수 있다 입니다. 글의 흐름이 조금은 깨진 듯 합니다. 또한 “왜 자기들이 원하는 직업을 구할 수 있는 것인지”에 대한 이해갈만한 설명도 나와있지 않습니다.
To sum up, studying diverse subjects as much as they can should not be overlooked at all. Since this can really give positive impacts on students in finding their interest and in choosing their majors infect the student finding their interests to select their majors. And also this makes students become desirable job candidates in today’s job market.
내용면에서 조금 더 탄탄해지면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다~ ^^ |