In recent society, “eating well” became more important than “eating a lot”. Lots of mothers of home concern a lot for about nutritious meals. However, caring family’s meal at least 3 times every year is very difficult job to do for mothers It is hard for mothers to care about family’s everyday meals. So, nowadays, to help these moms mothers, food has become easier to prepare. I believe this has improved the way people live because people can eat highly nutritious and various foods every day. , and People also can save their time of spent on preparing food.
First, people can have higher qualified high quality food without much effort. In recent society, keeping maintaining good health is also very important for successful social life. In order to keep good health, eating various foods with various nutrition is very important. If people have to prepare all the food by themselves, preparing different kinds of organic meals everyday would be almost impossible. However, since food has become easier to prepare, people can easily prepare have various foods for every each meal. For example, in the past, once when people cook one kind of meal, they were supposed to eat the same kind of meal for the whole day since because cooking took so much time. On the other hand, recently, people can eat much many different kinds of foods which that help people’s balanced nourishment.
Paragraph 자체는 좋아요. 하지만 intro에서 body paragraph로의 transition이 조금 부족한 거 같아요. 시작단어가 first, 이거인데 무엇의 first인지 알 수 없잖아요? 그러니까 이 앞부분을 좀 수정해주세요. 그럼 훨씬 더 부드럽게 이어질 거 같아요.
Also, people can save much of their time of on preparing food. In 21st century, being fast is very important. This means, the one who saves time and uses time more efficiently would be more favorable to success in the modern society. At this point, being easier to prepare food helps people a lot. People can save their time preparing food for every meal, every day. This made people to achieve their work more efficiently. For instance, in the past, housewives were supposed to wake up very early in the morning in order to cook breakfast for the whole their family. However, recently, people can save their morning time in the morning by just cooking simple breakfast such as sandwiches.
In conclusion, nowadays, preparing food became easier and simpler. Lots of people can easily prepare meals from market near their houses without much effort. and consume of time or eat at the restaurant(?). I believe these changes made people’s life more comfortable by helping people to save their time of for cooking food, and to have healthier and various nutritious meals every day.
내용은 좋아요. 글의 flow에 조금 더 신경 써주시고요. 중간중간 minor grammar mistakes들 조금 있고 sentence structure이 안 맞는 경우가 조금 있어요. 그런 부분들 보완해주시면 좋을 거 같아요. 수고하셨습니다.