learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree?
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
It is often said that as the modern society becomes complicated due to the development of recognition toward importance of history, augemented social attention has been given to the value of precedent. Especially, as the world follows ceaselessly repeated cycle, it is indispensable factor to retrospect past and prepare oneself for the future. Some people might not agree with to the idea, benefits of learning what hve have happened before, by thinking that considering each era has its own characteristics, events in the past do provide just an extraneous not an expedient matters. Having an oppurtunity to study precedent possess pragmatic benefits, however. There are several reasons to support the essay but the best reasons are as followed; fruitfull life and improving problem solving skills. body의 분량에 비해 서론의 비율이 너무 큽니다. 내용상 서론은 중요한 파트가 아니므로 서론이 과하게 길 경우 글 전체의 균형이 깨집니다. 서론1: 본론2: 본론2: 결론1 정도 비율이라고 생각하시면 편할 것 같아요.
To begin with, people are endowed an oppurtunity to enjoy an congenial life with various achievement. In fact, before pursuing pursueing a certain goal, it is undeniable fact that setting a criterion regarding value utilized in every kind of activity is crucial. Meaning hardly is it This means that it is hardly possible to enjoy fulfilling life without a clear vision. hardly, seldom, never 등으로 문장이 시작될 때에만 도치를 사용하고, meaning 현재분사 구는 문장역할을 할 수 없으므로 주어 동사를 갖춘 문장으로 풀어주어야 합니다. What is noticeable in here is that learning several precedents precedent is a conducive factor making people to realize what kind of value they need to pursue. For example, it is a prevalent phenomenon that a number of parents encourage their children to read a story of renowned people in the past time. The catholic demeanor of caregivers implies that by watching how people in the past time obtained success, children are able to set one's their own moral standard that becomes the fundamental basis when implementing further works. Hence, seen from educational effects which children get from learning history, people are able to live a blithe life with a clear goal and confidence. 과거의 이야기를 통해 삶에 대해 배울 수 있다는 주장은 주제에 알맞습니다. 사례 역시 주장을 뒷받침하기에 알맞은 내용입니다. 다만 문장을 과하게 길어지지 않도록 내용 단위로 끊어서 전체 호흡이 길어지지 않게끔 조절하는 것도 좋겠습니다.
In addition, it is another noticeable fact that learning the past help people to mature their one's problematic situation dealing skills. In detail, various factors determine whether one's life is successful or not but the most decisive one is how people behave judiciously. What is interesting is that taking an action wisely requires accumulated knowledge and experience. and In this regard, looking back the past period actually complements those necessary parts. According to a recent interview of prior CEO(Chielf executive officer) of Hyundai, Jung Mong Ju, 한문단으로합쳐주세요 he highlighted the importance of retrospecting past time. What he mentioned was is that learning history means assimilateing assimilliating academical knowledge as well as learning how people dealt deal when confronted with difficult situation they confronted. By considering the precedents, he could lower the possiblity of making an abortive decision idea concurrently diminish diminished occurence of aberration and anomaly which eventually contributed to his success. In short, as viewed from Jung Mong Ju's case, learning the past helps people to transforms one's callow and inept attitude in into a considerate one.
To conclude, having a life with certain value and goal is possible through looking some precedents precednets of historical people. Also, it is another noticeable fact that abating possibility of failure by catching out how people overcame hardships before. All things considered, studying the past time obviously engenders a number of benefits.
전반적으로 수일치, 시제일치 부분에서 문법실수가 나타나는 부분 유의해주세요. 글을 작성할 때 문법 오류를 검토할 수 있는 시간여유를 계산하면서 작성하면 도움이 됩니다. 같은 단어의 반복적인 사용 대신 다양한 단어를 활용해서 글을 구성해준다면 좋겠습니다^^ 사전에서 찾게 되는 자주 쓰이지 않는 단어의 사용 대신에 뉘앙스에 맞는 '주로 쓰이는' 단어 사용을 연습하는 것이 좋습니다. 또한 문장이 불필요하게 길게 나열되는 것 보다는 전달할 내용단위로 문장이 끊어져서 제시되는 것이 clear한 논리 전달에 도움이 됩니다. 코멘트 참고하셔서 내용 수정보완해주시기 바랍니다. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ 화이팅!