▶ Your Answer :
If
I could make one important change in a school, I would host a very big concert and & party. With other school clubs and dancers or singers, I
would create a lot of programs and entertaining clubs for concert. (-> I would create a variety of programs and invite a
number of entertaining clubs for the event since it would help students release
all the stresses and be a challenge for them to study harder) (Intro 에서
본론에 제시하실 근거들을 써주시면 좋습니다. 또 서론에서는 본론에 어떤 내용이 나올지를 알려줘야하므로
“학생들을 위한 콘서트나 파티를 여는 데 동의한다” 등의
문장을 넣어주시면 좋겠습니다.)
First of all, stress is one of the heaviest burdens for students to
carry the worse thing to almost every student.
Nowadays, students have numerous worries. For example, job, study, love
and their future are all their concerns. Their
daily life could be deadly affected by those matters. If
they always think about those things their life will be miserable.
Therefore, they need an outlet to overcome these harsh thoughts thinkings.
Through enjoying concert
(offered by school), they
can eradicate stress so the concert is very useful.
Also, it will encourage students to study by giving them new
energy to do tasks help students study because it
encourages and empowers them so that they get some energy when doing study or
other school activities. (This is because
students could be refreshed throughout the concert 등과 같이 두번째 주장의 근거를 제시해주세요) Actually,
an energetic mental condition is necessary for students because
school work is basically done by brain activity so if a psychological condition
of a student is not healthy he or she will never be able to
do school work very well. If I could make very energetic school
concert, energy that students get will help them handle/manage
a lot of school works get through a lot of work in school.
Furthermore, it can promote friendship and social relationships among between
students. On the process of preparing a school concert, students need to work
and help together to make good performances so they will learn
that partnership is very important. Also relationships between clubs and
schools will be active so they will have many chances to meet a lot of new
friends. (예를 들어주시면 좋겠어요~ 콘서트/파티를 준비하면서 다른 학교와 함께 준비했던 일들, 전혀 몰랐던 사람들을
알아갔던 경험 등등. 예가 참 많을 것 같네요~ ^^)
In conclusion, I want to host a huge school concert because it can help
students eliminate stress, encourage them to live and work more
energetically and expand social relationships. A school concert is
very useful and nice for most students for the
reasons mentioned above.
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