▶ Your Answer :
We live in the world where society changes in
fast pace /changing
with high speed. Because of development of new construction technology, many
cities have been evolving by building new gigantic constructions such as huge
bridges, magnificent dams and well-designed buildings. When I visited
Chicago, I was amazed
by a variety of skyscrapers and tremendous city scale. There were are many travelers
came from all different countries/ a variety of country and they wanted to go up to the
top of tall towers and enjoyed night view. However, I strongly felt strongly that the scenery of city is
too artificial for me to lose interest on it artificial felling from huge scenery
from city and easily lost interest from gigantic edifice. I believe
government should spend more money to preserve historic and traditional
buildings and constructions than to build and design new building.
- Intro 가 상대적으로 많이 깁니다.
First of all, we can expect financial
merit by
preserving historic properties we can expect financial merit. Countries having (composed by) various antique buildings can
attract lots of travelers from the world and it must be helpful to earn lots of
money. As I know, the world number one country earning money by tourism is
Spain. If we consider profit of tourism of Spain, monetary profit is higher
than sum of profit of Samsung, LG and Hyundai motors. By preserving antique
treasures, a lot of Spain people have been accumulating a lot of money easily.
Second, Finally, I think tourist
industry is kinds of clean business and that do not produce any polluting
substances. Making new buildings wrecks/destroys is kinds of wreck of nature. By
construction huge dams, ecosystems can be destroyed and natural disasters can be occurred. Also beautiful mountains can be ruined and
many tress can be died when we make new buildings for development of
cities(,) since a great number of sacks of cement are needed which is made by
limestone a
lot of cements made by limestone are need so beautiful mountains can be ruined
and many tress can be died.
For these reasons, such as financial and
obligatory things, I maintain that our government has to invest much money to
preserve our historic buildings. We have obligation to leave historical
buildings and treasures to our descendants. I think our old treasures are not
ours but things borrowed from our progenies. By seeing our ancestor’s precious buildings we have learn
their knowledge and passion (and we got direct historical learning)
Intro 는 상당히 길게 쓰셨는데 본문내용은 그렇지 못합니다. 본론1 과 본론 2 가
충분히 설득적일 수 있도록 디테일을 더 넣어주시는 것이 좋겠습니다. 수고하셨습니다. |