▶ Your Answer
I agree with the idea that we need zoos. I believe there are more benefits to have zoos around us. I have 3 reasons to support my ideas. 깔끔하지만 메인내용에 나올 내용을 조금 써주셔서 암시해주시는 것이 좋을것 같아요^^
Firstly, having a zoo can give us an atmosphere to think about nature including animals and plants as well. When I was young, I made great memories being in zoos and since I got used to staying with in places like a zoo, and nature-resembled place, I always try to care about nature. I believe that Even even though I was grown up in a city,(이 문장의 내용은 이해가 되질않아요.ㅠ.ㅠ) although I grew up in a city, I still care about nature. (이 내용이 맞나요?^^) I can learn the importance of nature nature important is important by having a chance to see animals in a zoo.
Secondly, a zoo itself is a fun place to visit. Family can spend their time in a zoo and it is really enjoyable, especially for a family with kids. As I said before, I had memorable times in zoos and I really look forward to visiting zoos with my kids in the future.
조금 더 자세하게 쓰시는게 좋을것 같아요. 예를 들자면 좋은경험에 대해서 조금 얘기하셔도 흥미로울꺼같아요~^^
Thirdly, zoos can be a safe place to protect some animal that is in verge of extinct, such as koala, or panda. Not only for this, Zoos can also be a place where people see the animal that doesn’t inhibit in a place where people live. If it wasn’t zoos, I wouldn’t see tigers and elephants in real because any of them can’t live in the climate that my country has.
Therefore, with these 3 reasons, I agree that we need zoos and having zoos around us is more beneficial to our lives. (위에서 설명하셨듣이 어떻게 beneficial한지 간단하게 적어주시면 더 좋을것 같아요^^)
인트로와 콘클루션에 조금씩 덧붙이고 다듬으시면 좋을 것 같아요. 단어선택과 아이디어는 좋은거같은데 조금 다듬으면 더 좋은 결과 나오실꺼 같아요~^^ |