▶ Your Answer :
An intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether printed books have had greater effects on society than television has. The answer to this question can vary greatly, depending on the individual perspectives. Thus, the jury may still be out, but as far as I am concerned, I disagree (typographical error는 아예 없도록 proofreading 해주세요~ ^^) adisagree with the statement. In this essay, I will present two reasons supporting my standpoint, as follows.
To begin with, the amount of time spent in front of TV is much longer/ more enormous than the time people spend on reading books. This is because people usually use programs like news, shows and dramas on TV media as a source of information, and entertainment through news programs, TV shows, and dramas whereas they seldom read books. To illustrate, according to a report recently conducted by the Ministry of Culture of Korea, the average time that which people spend for TV has been increased to 16 hours a week in 2010 from 4 hours a week in the 1980's. In contrast, the time for reading has significantly dwindled. This is attributed to the reason that people have become heavily dependent on television programs instead of books for getting amusement or information.
On top of that, TV media is often more informative than books because TV programs are easy to understand. The reason is that TV programs use multiple senses to convey convery (작은 실수 하나가 더 있네요~ㅠ) information. People can rely on visual and auditory senses when they are watching materials in the TV programs. This use of senses allows people to understand easier. For instance, when I was in middle school, I read a book(,) to know about the on The Big Bang Theory. However, it was hard for me to comprehend the concept of the theory although the book included illustrations and pictures since it was too abstract. However, after watching a TV documentary on the (Big Bang) theory, I could easily conceptualize the essence of the theory. This was because the documentary showed the process of Big Bang with 3-dimensional computer animation and narration.
In conclusion, I strongly argue for my standpoint on account of the two reasons mentioned above. Once again, the verdict may still be out. However, I personally believe that two of my rationales are sufficiently convincing enough to represent the viewpoints of the majority of people who are in favor of my claim.
내용구성도 잘 하셨고, 문장도 잘 구성하셨습니다. 그래서인지 유난히 typographical errors가 눈에 띄었습니다. 글 다 쓰시고 난 뒤에 proofreading 꼭! 해주시구요~ 탬플릿에 얽매이지 않고 써보시는 것도 괜찮을 것 같습니다! ^^ 수고하셨습니다~ |