▶ Your Answer :
The lecturer argues that there are inherent flaws regarding factors which caused the collapse of the Old Kingdom. This casts doubt on 3 factors explained in the reading passage.
First of all, the lecturer suggests that there was no benefit for the governors to oppose against the ruler, Pharaoh, rule of pharaoh(,) since the position of the governors was very privileged. In addition, if there was turmoil, strong army which was centralized easily defeated ended it. This contradicts the reading passage's argument that changed attitude of the governors resulted in the collapse.(reading 의 내용 조금 더 자세하게 써보실 수 있을 것 같네요. Governor 의 태도가 어떻게 바뀌었길래 collapse 까지 이어진 것인지 설명해주시면 좋겠습니다!)
Secondly, the lecturer explains that suggested evidence was misinterpreted. These texts (what is it?) actually show that there was the localized damage in the eastern part of the region(,) and that there was no serious drought in the other area. This rebuffs the reading passage's argument that the severe decrease in rainfall caused the kingdom to collapse. (여기서 reading 내용 조금 더 보충해볼 수 있을 것 같습니다.)
Lastly, the lecturer mentions that a struggle for power was severe/ fierce among successors the power struggles created by successors happened during other pharaohs' periods as well. (앞문장과 뒷문장의 관계가 어떻게 되나요? 자연스러운 연결을 위해 흐름을 만들어주는 것이 좋겠습니다. 적절한 연결어를 생각해보세요~) Even if there was had been an intensive competition among sons and grandchildren of Pepi II, the well-organized government could would easily have suppress seized the turmoil. This refutes the reading passage's argument that political turmoil created by Pepi's descendants contributed to the empire's collapse.
전반적인 내용의 균형을 위해서 reading passage 의 내용을 조금 더 탄탄하게 보강해주셨으면 합니다. 수고하셨습니다~ |