Technology makes
children less creative
Our generation is
benefitting from many developed (advanced) technology(ies) and I am sure that (the)
next generation will be. In my opinion, I believe that technology does not harm
creativeness of children. My opinion can be greatly
substantiated (clearly
supported) by the reasons addressed below.
First, there is no
logical relationship between technology and our children’s creativeness. In
other words, children do not really care about technology, and they actually do
not know what they are (technology is). For example, if a mom (mother) gives
her ipod to her babies, he (or she) interested
them as new thing which he see the first time (his or her seeing it for the first time will interest him /
I do not understand the link btwn this sentence and your thesis). Also,
many of electronic methods (gadgets) are bought by their parents, not (by) children, so technology is not really responsible
for (the) lack of children’s creativeness.
Children’s
lack of creativeness and the person buying the devices being their parents are
not clearly interconnected ideas. You either need to clearly support your
thesis by adding more information or by changing this supporting reason.
Moreover, general
development of technology is made by creative ideas. That is to say, many of
invention inspire the society and encourage the people to think the
new ideas. What our children learn from these atmospheres? (The) Answer
(answer) is a
creativeness. If a new technological method (is)
combined with educational purpose, we would expect our children (to) learn many of knowledge from (through) high
quality method.
State
the thesis of your supporting detail at the very beginning of the paragraph. It
(1) keeps your idea coherent (2) and makes it easier for your reader to understand
what you are writing about
In conclusion, I
disagree with (the) statement I got because
there is no logical relationship between technology and our children’s
creativeness and (also because the) general
development of technology is made by creative ideas. Kids (are) always fascinated by interesting things that
stimulate their creativeness. Furthermore, technology stimulates kid’s ideas, without harming them.
Suggestion: Choosing a side (technology makes children creative / less creative) is easier in both writing and scoring high, since that’s the way to make your essay clear :)