▶ Your Answer :
With rapidly developing technology, millions of information and news are released on the Internet and on television generated through internet portal site and television. Naturally, this has caused people to be exposed to numerous sources(,) and some them of which are not so reliable. For this reason, I believe that it is crucial for people to be dependent on various sources of information, rather than only one, because the news might contain inaccurate and biased information and people can have better understanding of a material by relying on multiple sources.
First reason for my opinion is that many sources today are not trustworthy. This is due to the fact that reporters often write exaggerated news to grab people's attention. If people resort to only one source, it is likely that they will be misinformed with wrong or overstated articles. According to the Ministry of Education of Korea in 2007, the number of complains on a wrong news reports had increased by more than 60% over the past decade. This directly shows how unsafe it is for people to rely on single source. (글의 흐름은 좋습니다. 문법적인 부분도 깔끔하게 잘 쓰셨구요~ 그런데 내용이 조금 부족해보입니다. 자신의 생각을 expound 할 수 있는 문장들을 더 써주셔서 detail을 살려주시는 연습 조금만 하신다면 더 나은 글이 될 수 있을 것 같습니다!)
Another equally important reason is that people can gain better understanding of context and material if they read several different versions of story. This gives reader ability to discern which information is right and unbiased. On the other hand, resorting to only one source can many times give biased view. For example, I used to think that carbon emission is a single cause of global warming(,) based on an article that heavily dealt with relationship between carbon and rise in of temperature. However, I realized that methane is also one of dominant factors that leads to raise temperature rise. If I only depended on one article that I read first time, I would have had misconception on the topic.
Depending on many sources of information not only provides more trustworthy information, but it also results in better understanding of a topic. For these reasons, I believe that people should resort to more than one sources.
잘 하셨는데요~ 사소한 것을 놓치시는 경우가 종종 있습니다. 수일치 부분 같은 거요~ 따라서 글을 쓰시고 꼭 다시 한 번 읽어보시길 권해드립니다. 또한 표현을 다양하게 사용하시면 좋겠습니다. Resort to~ 같은 것은 여러 번 사용하셨는데 단어 자체를 바꾸는 것도 괜찮겠고, 표현법을 바꾸면서 써보시는 것도 표현력을 기르는 데 도움이 될 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다~ ^^ |