▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether companies should invest on developing employees’ work skills. In spite of what advocated of contrary contend, my personal opinion taking on the matter is that companies necessarily have to spend their money on employees improving employees’ their work skills. There are a number of different arguments that I can use to support my position, but I will narrow my discussion to two of the most convincing points that are also most relevant to the topic : First, employees play a huge role in developing company development, and secondly, there are countless benefits for company by improving work skills of its employees.
The first and the most convincing reason behind my contention is that it is critical to enhance employees’ work skills because they are one of the chief factors that determines company’s success. Needless to say, if employees have lack of work skills on their particular task, their company’s production quality would notably be deteriorated. It is clear that employees play a key role in manufacturing good quality/ qualitative products and in serving all other various fields such as marketing. To be specific, I read a news article from Korea Times. According to the article, there is strong correlation between the work skills of employees and productivity. The article explains that the higher work skills employees have, the more positive and profitable results would be displayed in workplace. Regarding this point, it is important for companies to invest money on improving the work skills of their employees.
The second point lies on the fact that improving work skills of employees would bring countless positive outcomes for companies. (생산성에 대한 부분은 이미 앞 문단에서 충분히 언급하셨습니다. 이번 문단에서는 위와는 분명하게 다른 내용이 나와줘야 합니다.) It goes without saying that an employee who gets an opportunity to improve work skills has a great possibility to be better a worker. (skill 을 improve하면 더 나은 직원이 되기 때문에 더 나은 결과를 회사에 가져다 준다는 것은 위의 문단 내용과 크게 다르지 않아보입니다.) In contrast to inexperienced or semi- experienced workers who do not get any training for work skills in their companies, workers who do get trained and educated in their company for their work skills would definitely show much more developed skills. From my personal experience, when I was working part-time job in department store, my supervisor always had trained me in serving customers. He was never hesitate to teach me work skills (이 단어 너무 많이 사용하십니다. Teach me what? 정확한 단어를 써주세요. 인사하는 법이라던가 등등 구체적인 skill 을 언급해주세요.) and sometimes even provided all employees with free lecture related to marketing and customer service. Because of his investment on improving work skills of his workers, most of his employees including myself notably improved in individual’s field. This clearly demonstrated that companies should spend their money on developing worker’s skills.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that aforementioned arguments logically support my opinion. There are cogent reasons that companies should invest money on workers improvement. By improving work skills of employees, companies have a definite chance to develop their brand quality.
문장을 clear 하게 쓰시는 것은 분명 장점입니다. 그러나 일단은 같은 단어의 반복적인 사용은 줄여주셔야 합니다. 또한 body 1 과 body 2의 큰 차이를 잘 모르겠습니다. 구체적인 내용면에서 점검해보시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다! ^^ |