▶ Your Answer :
Both The lecture and the reading hold different positions, respectively, on the issue of why Teotihuacan collapsed. The lecture’s argument is formed around many points that are in direct contrast to the material in the reading passage.
둘이 서로 다른 position을 hold한다고 써주셨으니 앞에 “both”는 조금 어색할 수 있어요. 그 외에는 good intro!
First, the reading passage mentions that invasion of foreign country made city to be devastated. However, the lecture refutes this by arguing that invaded area was just a small fraction of the civilization. And The damage of invasion was not enough to destroy the city to collapse. Also, the items which were necessary for life had founded been found after the fire incident from invasion. This leads to the following that people lived in the city after the fire happening from the invasion of foreign country.
Fire incident이야기가 나왔을 때 갑자기 나와서 헷갈렸습니다. 그러니 더 clear하게 설명해주시는 것이 낫겠네요.
In addition, the reading passage points out that people who had lived in the city starved and dead died from starvation because of extreme drought. On the other hand, the speaker in the lecture rebuts this by claiming that there was irrigation system in the city. This made it possible to produce enough crops. It is does not make sense that this complex city didn’t did not have the irrigation system.
Finally, according to the reading passage, cutting too many trees led deforestation quickly, erosion of soil and lack of mineral quickly. In contrast, the lecture counters the reading’s point by saying that the citizens could get important products such as woods by trading the items with another city. Although the deforestation created challenge to people, it was not enough to devastate the city by itself.
In conclusion, the reading passage presents three aspects with regard to the theories of cause which made the great city to collapse. However, the lecture’s argument makes it clear that none of these characteristics justify the reading passage’s claim.
통합형에서는 conclusion 생략해도 무관한데 결론까지 써주셨네요!
Body에 자신이 있으시다면 conclusion 쓰는 시간에 다시 한번 검토하셔도 되지만 시간도 남고 body도 자신이 있으시다면 이렇게 쓰는 것도 괜찮습니다~ |