▶ Your Answer :
Money is very essential element of to our living life. We can't deny of the inportance importance of money.However, unlike some people who believe that it is very important to make large amount of money ,I believe that being comfortable is much more crucial. In this way i consider of a comfortable living as more high higher value rather than making large amount of money.
To begin with ,the reason is that we need the money is to be satisfied in our life. People work and save.What do you think they do about this? It is all because we want to our life to be enjoyable and more happy.happier. In turn,We want to be satisfied with our life.If too much works ruin our comfortable living,we couldn't be satisfied. Money is a tool of for many things which make our life to be happy, it can't be happyness happiness itself.I've seen many people who really work hard to save the money only.As time goes by, I could hear some complaining from them by saying this " i don't know what i have done. i don't have nothing left without money. i feel like i've been stolen my precious time! "As you see, even though people work for money,the ultimate purpose of working is to be happy. Therefore,In this way, working as much as you can and live a comfortable living life is better.
In addition,People don't know what is going to happen in the future.Therefore, they want to make large amount of money to prepare for their future happens.However, in my point of view, It is because we don't know about future happening,we should more focus more on the present we live. Assume if you just want to save the money for something might not happens and you just miss every good and convinience life which you can enjoy by spending some money. How ridiculars ridiculous it is ! Our time is not coming back again.Therefore, within limits,we should spend money to enjoy our life rather than save all of the money.
In conclusion,Even though large amount of money is needed sometimes,It's possibility is actually less than we think. So,Therefore(문장 시작할땐 so보다 therefore가 더 좋아요) personally i don't want to save money too hard without being satisfied of with comfortable living.I believe we should more focus more on our present life. happyness happiness of now.
읽기 좀 복잡합니다. 애매모호한 문장도 많고 뜻이 명확하게 전달이 안됩니다. 또한 문장의 구조에도 문제가 있습니다. 이 부분은 좋은 글들을 많이 보고 문장 구조를 익히면 해결하실수있습니다.
홧팅하세여~~
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